Things We Throw Out From A Window
by WeAreAllABunchOfLiars
Summary: A girl gets an assignment as a bounty hunter to visit My Chemical Romance... what is going to happen?
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY, NONE OF THE LYRICS OR OTHER STUFF ^^**

**Yaaaay, my second story, hope you like it ^^ it is kinda different from my other one... **

**And yes there is a story behind the title... xD  
**

**Jenny. **

I was standing at the train station waiting for the train that would take me to Belleville, New Jersey, it would be a long trip but then again I would get paid. It was an early Friday morning and there were a lot of people around me who was heading for their work. Like me then I thought with a little sigh. The only problem is that I don't have a regular eight to five work…

The train came into the station and I picked up my two bags and got on it, I walked down the train to find my seat.

123 here we go I thought to myself when I found the seat. I got rid of my two bags and sat down; it wasn't a comfortable seat but what the heck it had been ages since they had given me a job, I needed the money, and that was fast! I looked out over the station as we left it, I put my earphones in and put the music on shuffle, twenty five minutes later I was bored and I picked up the five folders I had in my shoulder bag and I opened the first one…

_**Gerard Arthur Way: **_

_Born: April 9, 1977 _

_Married to: Lindsey Ann Way _

_Children: Bandit Lee Way _

_Brother: Michael "Mikey" James Way_

_Mr. Way__ is the lead singer of My Chemical Romance and a comic book artist. Former alcoholic. _

That was all it said, well some pictures or the man, and the wife and the kid to but nothing special. I closed it when the conductor came to look at my tickets, she smiled and I returned the smile.

I remembered the day I got the job, it had been a week ago, I had stepped into the office at ten, and I was still hangover because we had been out celebration that one of my friends finally had succeeded with his job; to kill off Miley Cyrus.

"You are going to Mr. Anderson's office this second!" The bitch in the reception said when I got in. I did as I was told as I mumbled that I loved her to...

"God morning, Jenny." Mr. Anderson said when I walked in. "I have got a job for you. Please sit down!" I did as I was told and inside I was cheering, I was bored out of my mind.

"Hello Jenny." A familiar looking man said to me. "I'm Bert McCracken, from the Used… And I have a little job for you, if you succeed you will get one million dollars, and the company will get another million..." He said first to me then he looked back at Mr. Anderson.

"You are the perfect one for the job …." Mr. Anderson said and looked at me.

"What do you want me to do?" I said curiously, I mean you don't get one million dollars if it's not a HUGE thing…

"Are you familiar with the band My Chemical Romance?" Bert turned at me as he talked.

"Yeah… the Black Parade and that stuff… I've herd some of it." I nodded.

"Good, you see I'm here for revenge, not their album, but because of the lead singer…" he stopped before continuing with. "Never tell this to anyone… but we, Gerard, the singer and I had a thing a couple of years ago but he broke my heart… and then his band is more successful then mine… I want them gone. If you follow me." His voice was hard.

"Jenny." Mr. Anderson said. "Do you want this job or not…?"

"Yeah, sounds like fun."

We got up, shock hands and then I left the room so my two bosses would discuss some more. I picked up my phone and send one of my friends a text.

_I finally got a job! _

And now I'm here in the uncomfortable seats on my way to some festival… but fist I was off to a hotel and change my hair and clothes.

**Five**** boring hours later:**

"Next stop, Belleville!"

During the trip I had chosen a story to use, Mr. Andersons people always get me some background stories to choose from, and I had read all the folders and listened to their music, it was kinda cool but a job is a job, there was nothing to do. I took a taxi to the hotel.

"Hi, I'm Jenny Anderson, my father, Johnny Anderson, had booked a room for me." I smiled at the woman in the reception.

"Well hello Jenny, you are welcome, here are your keys." She gave me some stuff and I walked off to find my room.

I picked up my computer, put on some music and I picked out some stuff so I could dye my hair dark purple. I don't know why I choose that color, I just found it cool. One hour later I had awesome hair, ordered a pizza to the room and watched TV.

The next morning I woke up and started to plan the upcoming weeks, the festival wouldn't start before next Wednesday so I had half a week to decide how to get to the band and what to use to kill the band with.


	2. A Tiny Girl Outside a Tour Bus

**Chapter two :D and yes i have nothing else to do, but everyone loved updates right? **

**Gerard. **

I missed my wife… and my daughter, this was the first tour I was out on after my little Bandit was born and it was tough. It had just passed three days since I left home… I walked around the festival area and saw kids, drunk and high, laughing and having their time of their life. Maybe I was getting to old for this shit?

"Dude!" I turned around and saw Frank, one of my four best friends walking towards me.

"Hey…" I forced a smile on my face.

"Are you okay? You seem to be a little down?"

"Nah… I dunno…" I answered him; I didn't want anyone to know that I wasn't okay, that I still wasn't okay, after all those years.

"We have to get ready for the show now… Ray is going on a killing spree because someone, probably Mikey has stolen his eyeliner."

We walked to our bus in silence, we had been on the tour for three days and the bus was already total chaos. I changed into my stage clothes without some bigger enthusiasm; I did my makeup and poured a cup of coffee down my throat. Mikey and Frank had a play fight and it actually made me laugh.

"WELCOME ALL YOU BEAUTIFUL MOTHERFUCKERS!" I greatened the audience as usual, with calling them motherfuckers. And the whole place blew up. "WE ARE MY CHEMICAL FUCKING ROMANCE!" I could feel the adrenaline pumping in my body and I felt alive again.

**Jenny.**

The five men where kinda amazing on the stage, I could feel the music in my body, and I could understand why these guys had more fans than the Used… there were just so much energy. After the show I put on a backstage pass so I could get back to the bands bus… I walked around for an hour just watching bands running around and act like kids. Some were splashing water around themselves; some had been drinking too much and were quite drunk…

I found a bus with My Chems name on and I picked off my pass. Then I rubbed some dirt in my face, and then I crawled up next to the bus and waited.

**Ray. **

I was about to call my wife after the show when I saw a tiny girl sitting next to our bus, I walked up to the girl.

"Hey... you are you okay?" I asked her.

"What… who…" she looked around herself, confused and scared. "Where am I?"

"Girl… you are outside My Chems tour bus, backstage. I'm Ray Toro… who are you?"

"I'm Jenny Anderson…" then she stopped. "Are you THE Ray Toro? "She yelled and jumped up.

"Yeah, I guess I am… but what are you doing here…?"

"I don't know… I got a drink from a guy and then I don't remember anything more… and… now I wake up here…"

I helped Jenny up and she showed her MCR t-shirt. She searched through her pockets to find her phone or something but she couldn't find it.

"Gerard, Frank, Mikey, Bob! We have a little problem!" All the guys walked out and looked at the girl.

"Yeah, she is kinda little!" Frank laughed with a beer in his hand.

"Ray… who is this? And what is she doing here?" Gerard asked and looked at the girl.

"I'm Jenny and I got drugged and robbed… and now I'm here… OH MY GOD… YOU ARE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!" she started to yell and jump up and down…

**Jenny. **

What? Did I really say my real name? Urrhhgg my boss had killed me if he knew… but I'm not gonna tell him…

Ray called after the other members of the band and they all walked off the bus.

"Yeah, she is kinda little!" A guy I recognized as Frank, one of the guitarists said and laughed.

"Ray… who is this? And what is she doing here?" The lead singer asked.

"I'm Jenny and I got drugged and robbed… and now I'm here…" I said before starting to jump up and down and yelling. "OH MY GOD… YOU ARE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE!" perfect, I'm a great actor.

"Dude… yeah… but you should come here inside." A man said as other people started to come and stare at us. They showed me the way inside the bus and I walked after them. The place was kinda filthy, men are fucking animals!

"Sit down!" Ray said and pointed at something I guess was a sofa; I pushed away some clothes and then sat down.

"We should call your friends and make sure they are okay!" Gerard said. "I'm Gerard by the way, but I guess you already knew that, Mikey, Bob, Frank and you already met Ray!" He said and pointed at them one at a time.

"I'm here all alone…" I said and tried to look as vulnerable as possible.

"Then we'll call your parents!" Mikey said with a grown up voice. I started to sob and soon hot tears fell over my cheeks, always rely on that someone has feelings.

"No! Not my parents! I ran away just to see you guys and my father will hurt me if I come back! He always does!" I buried my face in my hands.

"Guys…" Someone whispered before trying to stop my tears. "Hey, we don't want you to get in any trouble! We have to talk… would you like to take a shower?" I looked up and nodded, Frank handed me some clothes and showed me the way.

"You go girl!" I whispered into the mirror as I whipped the mascara tears away from my face. I started to undress, I picked away the little bottles of poison I had attached at my waist and the little gun I had in my shoe before letting the hot water run over my body.

Ten minutes later I jumped out of the shower and dressed in Frank's clothes, found some makeup and fixed it; I hid my weapons before getting out of the little room.

"…Yeah but we can't just leave her… and force her go to parents that will hurt her!" Gerard yelled and sounded real mad.

"No… but there is something suspicious about this chick! Can't you see it? " Bob said and he sounded mad. "How the heck could she come backstage like this? And drugged… Nah there is something that isn't right!"

"I'm sorry guys. But that's the truth!" I said and almost felt the tears burning behind my eyes, not that I actually was sad, no because I probably would fail with my assignment…

Five pair eyes stared at me.

"Okay… let us vote!" Mikey said. "The ones who want her to stay raise your hand!"

Mikey, Frank, Gerard and after a second even Ray raised his hand up in the air.

"Jenny, welcome!" Frank said and gave me a big hug.

"Thanks…" I said and suddenly I felt guilty when they took me into their home, oh well tour bus with open arms when I had intention to kill them all…

**Sooooooo... liked it or not? ^^ let me know *evil glare***


	3. Frank Ieros Cousin?

**Yes it is kinda short, and if this chapter sucks it is because my brain comitted suicide out of boringness... **

**Enjoy people, and then reviw! ^^  
**

**Frank. **

"Welcome to the bus, our sweet home! Now would you tell us some more about yourself? Just so our wives don't think we randomly picked some chick up from the street…!" I said. "I'm not sure they had liked that…"

"What do you want to know?" The kid said and looked scared.

"Age, where you come from and stuff like that, you know, the basics!" Mikey said and pretended to be mature.

"Uhm I'm seventeen, I come from New York; I lived there with my family until I was feed up with my alcoholic father and I came here and well meet you!" Jenny said and tried to stop the tears.

Gerard had been silent since the voting until now when he started to talk.

"We have a problem guys… The press. What the heck are we gonna tell 'em about you? This is a random chick we picked up outside out tour bus? Nah that isn't good enough and think about our families…"

"Can't we just tell the press that she is a relative? Like a cousin or some thing?" I said.

"Well that could work!" Gerard laughed. "Someone could buy that lie! Whose cousin would you like to be?" Gerard turned around to Jenny.

"Hmm Jenny Iero sounds like an awesome name!" she said. I walked up to her and gave her a hug.

"Great! So we are just going to take in a strange girl? For all that you know she could be a serial killer! Or something…!" Bob said with a stubborn voice.

"Oh get real dude! She's okay!" I said and he walked off the bus.

"Don't mind him!" Ray said to Jenny. "He will come around sooner or later, promise you…"

**Bob. **

Stupid, stupid motherfuckers, this will never end well… I thought to myself as I madly walked off the bus.

"Hey dude!" Billie Joe from Green Day came up and started to talk to me.

"Hey!"

"Everything okay? You seem to be…. mad?" he laughed, he was drunk.

"No… it is nothing really, Franks seventeen old cousin is here and she wants us to take care of her. And I don't like it!"

"Come on Bob, it can't be so bad! Teenage chicks are fun!" He laughed. "Is she a fan?"

"Huge fan…" I started but he cut me off.

"Then it can be awesome!" I just shook my head and left Billie Joe standing there like a moron, I love the guy but seriously he can get on my nerves sometimes, and today he was.

I walked around the backstage area for an hour or so smoking, thinking and trying to get myself together, I didn't want to fight with the guys but I had been sleeping badly since the tour started and this wasn't good for the band.

"Hey… you should apologize to Jenny!" Gee caught me outside the bus before I had a chance to walk inside.

"Yeah I shouldn't have said that about her." I said and shook my head.

**Gerard. **

"Darling I miss you!" I said and felt the tears in my eyes.

"_We miss you to!" _Lindsey whispered.

"I want to end the tour, and go home to you… but I can't!" I said remembering how happy I was with my wife and kid, and the same time how alive I was on the stage. It was the rest of the time that was killing me.

"_No, you can't! Think of your fans! You can't let them down now!" _

"No… I know, I won't! I have to go!" I whispered. "I love you!"

I hung up on her and lit up my cigarette. I could fancy a drink; this was one of my week moments, but I couldn't give in. Not after so many years struggling to be sober. Instead I raised my hand and smashed it into a stone wall. Not smart. A few minutes were passing by and my hand started to get swollen.

"FUCK!" I yelled out in the night.

"Gerard? Are you okay?" I voice went through the night. I turned around to see Jenny standing and watching me. She looked so thin and pale, like a vampire she was beautiful. She was definitely a mysterious, was her story really true? I wasn't sure…

"No… I miss my wife. And kid."

"Urhg... now I have messed up the way you see me… I'm not a fucking hero… I still hope you can look at me the same way." I said and at this point I disgusted myself.

"Gee… you are not more than human… Seriously stop beating yourself up with this shit!" She said and gave me a hug, I didn't want to let go.

"Thanks Jenny… I know self destruction isn't the answer, but…" I looked at my swollen hand and lost the words. "But now we should hit the bed… it has been a long day!"

Half an hour later I crawled up into my bunk and felt lonely and for one second I wanted to get up to get a drink but I stopped myself in the very last second.

**Ahrgh i promised myslef this story shouldn't be so messed up and dark (yepp that's why i'm writing about a chick comming to kill our heros to get filthy rich normal...)... i failed in the third chapter... xD but let me know what you think :) **


	4. This Is The Truth

**Well this chapter is for my best friend, wife (hrm don't ask... LONG story...) and brain brother Matilda(yep you have your real name today xP) who graduates from high school today! :D You made it sweetie! even if we are cheating a little... but no one needs to know that :p ^^**

**Hope you all like this chapter :) please let me know ^^  
**

**Jenny****. **

I woke up feeling claustrophobic, like I couldn't breathe and I was unable to move my legs and the darkness was around me and holding a grip around me, I was terrified. And it only got worse and worse.

"NOOOOO!" Someone was screaming in the bus, it took me a minute to realize it was me who screamed, I couldn't stop.

"Jenny, JENNY! What's wrong? Darling please stop the screaming!" Mikey said as he tried to calm me down, he lifted me out from the bunk. I stopped the screaming but I moaned from the fear, not until maybe another minute I shut up, but I was still sobbing in Mikey's safe arms.

"She's trouble…" Bob whispered.

"You stupid fucker, stop being all cynical and mean, and a…a… a fucker! Have you forgotten that we do this to help people like her?" Gerard mumbled, probably so he wouldn't upset me more. "And if that's doesn't suite you, you could leave this very second and never come back!"

"Guys take it outside!" Frank said as he pushed the two of them out from the sleeping area.

I slowly calmed down and soon I could take calm breaths again, but Mikey didn't let go of me.

"How are you doing now?" he asked as he sat there with me.

"I don't know… I just panicked… it…it…it was so dark and my legs were stuck and I couldn't breathe…" I slowly said, and for the first time since I came to the bus I wasn't lying.

"Claustrophobia…" Ray told us. "Have you ever experienced this before?"

"No… never this bad, but I think I had a bad dream to." I said trying to hold my voice as strong as possible.

"It is okay now! Bad dreams can't hurt you, and not the bunk either, we can change so you get my top bunk so you don't feel trapped when you are asleep. Is that okay hun?" Frank said and tried to cheer me up. I forced a smile at my face, I was still terrified but I nodded hoping that would help.

We all sat on the floor when upset voices were heard through the door, Bob and Gerard was fighting over well probably me.

**Gerard.**

"Why do you refuse to accept this girl?" I tried to hold my voice low but I was really upset.

"Because she… No it is strange that she is one of our "biggest fans"". Bob made air speech markers as he said the last part. "And all the sudden she is drugged, and robbed and the guy or guys doing that to her just leaves her outside our bus. It makes no fucking sense!"

"Yeah but then again, that stuff happens!" I almost yelled now. "And I'm sorry but I do believe in her, because if I don't and what she tells us is true. I don't want to send her home to an alcoholic father who will beat her up."

"No because you are Mr. Perfect himself or what? No you are just feeling guilty because of your past… alcoholic you weren't pretty. Oh yeah you are always pretty… that's why you can behave just as you like and have who ever you want… even Bert!"

It felt like a slap in the face, I didn't know what to say… was Bert the reason why Bob behaved like this? That happen so many ears ago; I had forgotten about that, I mean Bob is with Katlin now and they seem to be so happy together… I officially don't get a shit!

"What has that to do with anything?" I asked, I tried to be calm but it wasn't easy.

"You knew we were going out when I did their sound and you… you just stole him!" he took a deep breath before speaking again. "And I'm so fucking tired that you always boss us around and tell us what to do! Like with Jenny…" I cut him off.

"Okay… seriously we voted and I didn't make that decision. But hey why can't you just be nice to her or just pretend you like her?" I said. "I'll stop boss you around, if you think I do that and well sorry about Bert." I slowly mumbled to him as he stepped off the bus.

**Bob. **

I don't know why I brought the thing about me thinking Gerard being bossy and the thing about Bert; I mean that was just something I had to do when I still was young and stupid…

I stood outside the bus and smoked, I was still mad about something, I had forgotten about. I was lost in memories from the old days.

I heard the door open and a voice saying;

"No, I'm fine now, I just need some air."

When Jenny stepped off the bus all I could do was staring at her and remembering why I had been so mad on the bus.

"Oh hello Jenny, if that's your real name…"

"Hello, Bob." She said with a harsh voice, I didn't blame her, I had said a lot of bad things about her the last hours. She had all right to be bitter with me.

"So what are you really doing here? Because I don't buy you little story."

"Oh I see you really want to know that." She started to say, and I rushed her to say it by:

"Yeah, and I want the truth!"

"Then I shall tell you, well this is the truth…"

**Oh yeah, i love cliffhangers xD thought it was time for one, what did you think? let me know *evil glare***


	5. It Will Be A Pleasure To Kill You

**Well here is the new chapter :) hope you like it ^^**

I stared at the girl, she had said that she was about to tell me the truth about her, I was excited and I waited for her to start telling me. Jenny leaned forward towards me before she actually started to speak.

"Well this is the truth!" she said, almost whispering so no one more than me would hear. She took a deep breath before talking, for a second I thought she was about to cry, oh how wrong I was... "My name is Jenny, which is actually the truth; I blanked and said the wrong name when Ray or whatshisname came up to me and started to talk. I'm not here because I love your stupid little band, or because I have a crush on you, five men. I don't have an alcoholic father who would hurt me if I come back; actually I don't have a father at all. No I'm here because a man gave me some papers and my job is to kill you all, and I will get filthy rich when I do." She stopped and looked me right into my eyes.

"You…you are here…" I started, I didn't want to believe her but she just smiled at me with an evil smile, she didn't lie.

"So Bob, is there something else you want to know?" She still had that evil smile on her lips and she giggled when she saw the fear screaming out from my eyes.

I took a deep breath trying to get myself together, I had to say something.

"You really think that you can get away with that?" that was all I could make myself say.

She laughed out loud and walked up to me; she stopped when she was just some centimetres away from me, her eyes where in the same height as my cheek, she poked in my chest with her thin but extremely hard finger, it hurt but I didn't want to shove her the pain.

"So, who do you think them believe in? You, or me?" as she said the last part tears started to fall over her cheeks. The guys would never believe in me if I told them what she just had told me, we were all screwed. I thought of my girlfriend, and of my best friends, whom I see as my brothers, hoping we would live so long that they could forgive me for my bad behaviour. I didn't want to die when we still had a fight. The only thing bothering me was the fact I had been right the whole time. Fuck their ignorance!

"You evil bitch!" I said to Jenny as she wiped the tears off her face.

"Oh come on, cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it! You see this is just what I do for a living. And if you can be famous for some stupid music then I should be able to practice my job! And do you know Bob? It will be a pleasure to kill you. You'll be the first of you five to die. So what does you rather be killed with gun or poison?" she turned around and leaving me to tears, she just laughed at me.

I just stood there, holding my phone in a hard grip as the tears slowly made my cheeks soaked wet from them, I didn't know what to do, and Jenny was already inside, getting their trust.

Finally I made myself dial my girlfriend's number, hoping she would answer even though it was late.

"_Bob… it is in the middle of the night! What are you thinking calling this late?"_ Kaitlyn answered angry but still… excited.

"Hey baby…" I started but I had trouble holding my tears back. "I was just calling to say that I love you…" I sniffled into the phone and it was obvious that I was crying.

"_Sweetie… are you crying?" _her voice was suddenly soft and comforting, reminding me of why I loved her so damn much.

"No… well yes, I couldn't sleep and I was thinking of you and I needed to tell you that I love with all my little black heart… no matter what happens." I could hear my beautiful girlfriend sob in the other end of the phone.

"_Bob is something wrong?" _great now she was crying to…

"No, nothing darling! Go back to sleep now! I love you, forever!" Kaitlyn cried and said she loved me to, I hung up and a thought hit me… what if I walked out of this place right here and now? I could save my own neck… but I couldn't let her kill them. I won't go down by myself,  
but I'll go down with my friends... I repeated the phrase slowly to myself as I walked back on the bus.

**So... she told him the truth *gasp* let me know what you thought of this chapter :) **

**and if you want an awsome story to read: The Way Brothers Are My Brothers? new. written by Ashkie Sage. It is amazing ^^  
**


	6. A Little Bit of Love?

**Sorry for not updating for some days... i've been busy... doing nothing and my inspiration comitted suicide last week... I'm at my parents house in a town that are called the jerusalem of sweden.. THERE IS NOTHING TO DO! Anyone interested in kidnaping me? I'm little and cute, don't eat so much, are strong and can fight the polar bears we have walking around the streets here in sweden... told ya i was bored.. kidnap me? (a)**

**Bob. **

Am I dead? That was the first thing I asked myself when I woke up. Well at least there was no parade to great me to death, but maybe we had been wrong in our video… Someone snored, and something smelled rotten, no heaven... That was my second thought, and then I opened my eyes, finding myself lying in my little bunk. I wasn't dead, I had another day to make friends with the guys. I heard voices from the other room so I gvery fasuessed Jenny hadn't killed 'em either. I found something to wear and then I walked out to Gee, Mikey, Frank and Jenny. It ripped my heart apart seeing them together; she was sitting on my place in the sofa… I felt betrayed, but I swallowed my pride and walked up to them.

**Gerard. **

"Ehm, guys I'm sorry about yesterday…" I heard Bob saying and we all turned around, well except from Ray who still was snoring in his bunk…

"Is that all you…?" I started by Jenny surprised me with her action and I just shut up; she jumped up from the sofa where she had been sitting until now and she gave Bob a huge hug. We all watched her in surprise, not even Bob seemed to have expected that from her.

"Hey Bob thanks for talking to me yesterday!" she said with a smile, then she turned around and looked at us. "You see, Bob had nothing against me really, he just had a rough night with the girlfriend. Hadn't you?" he nodded. "And I know now that he never meant to say those things about me, this is great, I mean now he know that I'm not a killer, or something." Jenny said with a smile and winked at Bob.

"Yeah, Katelyn didn't think it was okay leaving her at home… she was really upset." Bob explained to us.

"You should have said something!" Mikey chide the poor guy. "I mean none of our wives or girlfriends do really love that we are on the road, with fan girls, like Jen, and alcohol and drugs all around us, tempting us, you know. And you have only been together for six months, of course she's upset." He laughed.

"Yeah the main thing is that you and she are okay now and that Jen can stay." I said and we all joined together in a group hug.

"Are you group hugging without the Fro?" Ray yelled and attacked everyone he could reach, tickling them. We all fell down at the floor; I had a cramp in my stomach from all the laughing. We laughed until we cried, and then we all lay on the floor exhausted until the door opened.

"Hey guys, whatever you have taken, I want a piece of it!" Billie Joe said and joined us on the floor. "We heard the laughing all the way over to our bus…" he laughed.

"Just some tickling…" Jenny said. "Nothing special… I KNOW THAT VOICE! OH MY GOD! BILLIE FUCKING JOE ARMSTRONG!"

"Frank, is this your cousin?" Billie laughed when he heard the screaming.

"I AMMM! Jenny yelled and started to jump up and down before throwing herself around the poor mans neck, is she taking something or is she really this hyper?

**Jenny. **

I actually had some kind of a fan moment… I've listened on Green Day ever since I was a little girl and one on my biggest dreams had been to meet Billie Joe, and here he was. I was jumping up and down for several minutes before I could calm down.

**Frank. **

"Frank I gotta say your cousin has a great taste in music!" Billie Joe said before he got kidnapped by the girl we claimed to be my cousin.

"We are going out to meet the rest of the band." Jenny yelled before jumping off the bus, poor men I thought to myself. Finally there was some peace and quiet…

… But not for long, because when I was about to pick up my phone and call the wife Gerard turned up, looking concerned.

"Something wrong?" I asked just to be friendly.

"No… not really. Never mind that… I just realized Jen is still wearing your clothes… that are all she got, except from that shirt and jeans she had when Ray found her. We should take her shopping, we got no shows today, and we are leaving for another town tomorrow." Gee started to make plans and was about to call her when he realized she had no phone…

"I'll be at Green Days bus picking Jen up and then we all can go shopping!" he wasn't concerned anymore, excited was the right word, maybe he hoped Bandit would grow up to be like Jen.

**Jenny.**

Gerard walked into the bus, explained to the guys that My Chem wanted me back for something and he dragged me off the bus. Then he dragged me into a car and then he got the other ones. Frank and Mikey sat the whole trip screaming "ROAD TRIP!" until we started to throw stuff at them, 30 minutes we were at a huge mall, and I felt confused. Gerard must have seen that because he said:

"We are gonna spoil you a little, hun!" then we walked in and found the shops we were looking for.

First they spoiled me with all clothes I wanted, I got a whole new wardrobe paid and ready to use, I got everything: dresses, skinny jeans, tank tops, skirts, you name it… then the guys took me to buy a new phone and an iPod. There are some things a girl can't live without. While in the shops I got a text on my own, old phone, which was hidden in my bra… if you find that interesting. It was from my boss telling me to report as fast as possible, it was more than a week since I left and I hadn't called him since I got all the papers. He was mad. I on the other hand had the time of my life.

**Mikey. **

Jenny shoved us everything she wanted, then she dressed up, we said what we thought and then we paid. This girl is pretty I thought to myself when she stepped out from the dressing room in a red and black dress and to that a pair of red converse. She posed, and I almost dropped my jaw into the floor. She looked stunning.

"You look great." I mumbled to her. "I need some air." I continued before rushing out of the store, disgusted by myself.

**Well things are starting to be a little bit more interested i think ^^or whats your thought? :) let me know ^^  
**

**and yes kidnap me! please? (a)  
**


	7. The Tiny Voice In Your Head

**Well here we go again, chapter 7 ^^**

**Still waiting for someone to kidnap me, i have suffered through swedens most painful tradition today. Midsummers eve, you go out into the forest, pick flowers, dress up a "midsummerseve pole" which btw looks like an upsidedown dick... (a) then you eat fish, the grownups gets drunk and everyone have to dance around the pole, jumping around like frogs and sing. You look stupid and since your parents think you aren't old enoguh to drink everything gets realy painful... kidnap me?  
**

**hope you enjoy this chapter :)  
**

**Jenny. **

After I was spoiled we went back to the bus, I decided I needed some sleep since I had slept badly during the night, you remember, don't you?

Hours later I the bus woke me up it was moving we were on our way to another town, another festival. I remembered that I still hadn't answered my boss's text and I looked for some of the guys but I was alone, then I picked the phone up.

_J here, I'm with the clients, I'm living with the five of them, I'm preparing for the "deal". Reporting later. _

_J _

I wrote an answer and then turned the phone off, I didn't want it to turn me away, then I walked out to the guys, Frank and Bob was sitting on the sofa, playing videogames, guitar hero and Bob was losing. I laughed when Frank jumped up and down in the sofa doing a silly victory dance and Bob went to a corner to be sulking.

"Frank I demand a game." I said and took up the other guitar.

A hard game, tears, laughing and screaming later I had won the game. Frank glared at me but I just handed over the guitar to him, I walked up to Mikey who sat in the practice studio the band had set up.

"FINE! Then have it your way! I don't care!" he yelled into the phone before he hung up and smashed his hand into the wall and he cursed from the pain.

"Are you okay?" I asked and stared at Mikey, his tears were breaking my heart, I didn't want to be touched and against my will I walked up and gave him a hug.

My mentor, the man who raised me as his own child and who told me everything I know, had told me to never get touched. "If you get emotional involved." He had told me. "Then you will never, ever be able to end the mission… and then you'll never get hired again and then you won't get any money!"

I remembered his words when I held Mikey in my arms.

"No… I just had the biggest fight ever with my wife… and well I really don't care what happens…" he shook his head and looked miserable.

"Come on… it can't be that bad…you and Alicia are soo cute together, you are the prefect couple!" But he didn't listen.

"Well I don't want to drag anyone down, just leave. Please?" he asked me but I didn't want to leave him, he looked so miserable and well cute… "Jen, I need to be alone!" I walked away without looking back.

**Gerard. **

I hid in the bathroom; I didn't want to see anyone… I hated the wait, I had nothing to do, before I had my drinking, at home I had Bandit and Lindsey. But here? Nothing. I was bored out of my mind… Not that I don't love the guys, but everyone is having their own problems and lives. Maybe we should give this up? No, bad idea, I felt alive on the stage, I just needed something telling me that I was alive between the shows…

"_But you can always hurt yourself…" _the tiny voice in my head that you never ever, ever should listen to had talked to me during the whole afternoon, it hadn't stopped talking to me since we came back from the stores. And well if I put it this way I had hit the point in my boringness that I actually had started to listen…

"_Hurting yourself makes you feel alive. Just like in the old days… remember?" _Oh I remembered, first the pain and then… alive. That made up my mind… I found the razorblades fast and then I lifted up my sleeve, reviling my pale skin. I put the razor onto the skin and I slowly pushed it until blood red as a ruby run over my skin. I let the razor run over my skin again and again. The pain was tough but I felt… alive.

"FUCK!" I screamed when I realized what I had done. I slowly sat down at the floor and cried. It took me a long time before I could get up on my feet and get myself together.

**Mikey. **

"_Nobody likes you... Everyone left you... They're all out without you... Having fun..."_

I sat in the sofa at the bus, with my iPod plugged into my eyes, Green Day… no one was awake except for me at least what I knew about.

I held the glass of alcohol in my hand; I wanted to be drunk no I needed it. Maybe I was just like my brother, maybe I was just… someone screaming for help… I looked into the glass then I drank.

I drank until my head was heavy, until my body had become soar and until I wanted to throw up. I drank until I wanted to die; I was lying on the sofa looking up in the roof it was spinning around.

"I need to stand up." I whispered. "I need to hide my booze, and then go to bed and get the poison out from my body…" Finally my body obeyed my brain and I passed out in my bunk.

**Ray. **

I was scared… I was not scared of death or even of dying. I have had a great life, the best you can wish for. No what I was afraid of was telling the guys…

**Well... a little bit of a cliffhanger... and some darkness ^^ let me know what you are thinking! ^^**


	8. A New Town, Another Show

**Heeey again ^^ hope you like this chapter :)**

**Mikey. **

"Come on bro! Time to wake up!" I opened my eyes slowly, I had to wink sometime to be able to see my brother, my sight was blurry and I felt awful.

"God morning starshine… the earth says hello!" Frank laughed and started to jump up and down when I got up from the bed. "New town, new show tonight! It will be amazing!"

I must have looked miserable because everyone looked strange at me.

"If I didn't know you better Mikey, I would say you are having the biggest, most painful hangover you ever experienced… but you don't drink that much anymore, do you?" it was Gerard who talked to me, and I just shook my head.

"Nope, it is no hangover, it is migraine… the road is going hard on me…" I laughed and got back to bed, I heard the voices talk behind my back.

**Gerard. **

"Dude… that sure didn't look like a migraine… It is hangover…" Frank started, but I cut him off.

"Don't talk nonsense… he does suffer from migraine, you know…" I tried to convince both me and the guys… but I felt that no one really bought it. "Well I need to go to the bathroom." I left the guys with that and went to get my razorblade. I wasn't able to think clear, it was impossible, pain would maybe solve that, the slicing was fast, I just put the razor upon my skin and then cut until it bleed enough.

"Your brother isn't well… and what do YOU do?" I said to the man in the mirror. "You slice your arms open like a little kid who wants to act out, or don't know what to do… You are a moron, a fucking idiot." The blood dripped down into the sink, I washed it away but first I stopped the bleeding and get out to the guys. They were watching Sweeney Todd and laughed when Johnny Depp sliced the throats open. There were still some hours before we had reached our destination and I felt trapped.

"Hey Gerard… why is there blood on the floor here?" Ray screamed from the bathroom later that morning.

"B..blo… blood…?" I whispered and all the sudden I felt weak. "I don't know…"

"Yes, that red stuff that is running in your veins… it is all over the floor." Ray came out and Bob picked up the remote control, paused the film and he, Frank, Ray and Jenny stared at me.

"Gerard… you aren't hurting yourself again are you?" Frank asked me slowly.

"Uhm… y…"

"No he doesn't…" Jenny cried. "I did… well do…" Everyone turned around and watched her instead.

"Let me see?" Frank demanded. "No… it is my life… and sometimes I feel like cutting up my wrist and that's it. You can't stop me!" she answered.

"Well… we got rules here, first, no booze on the bus, then we got the rule: no self harm! Come and talk instead… Well you got it?" It was Bob who talked. "And if you can't handle that… we can't have you here!"

"Guys… come on… she didn't know." I tried to sound strong… but I failed. "Darling, you have to know that you always can come to me and talk, I have been in that shit to…"

**Later, backstage.**

**Jenny.**

I walked around backstage, it was pretty amazing, the crowd went crazy when My Chem got on and I saw the show on a huge TV.

Mikey and I met just before they got on the stage, I had given him a hug and he promised me to make the best show ever. He had looked much better now… honestly he looked great, yes amazing…

**Gerard. **

"THIS MY DEAR FRIENDS ARE THE VERY LAST SONG FROM US!" I screamed out to the audience and the kids went crazy. "THIS IS HELEEEEENA!"

The lights went off, but the screaming continued, we laughed, and waited for the lights to get on again, we did Kill All Your Friends as the encore, then we went off the stage. The usual hugs was up next, we were all sweaty and disgusting but so happy.

"Amazing!" Jenny had sparkling eyes and jumped up and down when we met her in the loge. I lit up a cigarette, drank some water and then I turned to Jenny.

"Hey Jen, I need a word with you. Can you come with me?" she nodded and came after me.

"Can I get one?" She asked and pointed at the cigarette package.

"You shouldn't smoke… you are so young…" but I gave her one anyway.

"So… what did you want to talk to me about?" she asked.

"You don't do self harm, so why did you say you are?" I tried to confront her but she just shook her head. "Come on… tell me please? Why the heck did you save my ass before?" I tried my puppy eyes…

"Damn… I can't say no to your pretty face!" she said and continued with. "Well you are grown up now… and if you think this is the right thing to do with your body then it probably is… and then I believe that none should butt in!" she smirked.

"Well thanks… I owe you one there!" she didn't answer and we walked back to the guys smoking.

**Later on. **

**Third person.**

_The tour bus was dark, __ no one was to be seen, Gerard, the singer was standing in the bathroom, he was disgusted with himself, the things he had done to his body the last days was disappointing, and the disappointment made him cut his arms open one more time. _

_Mikey, Gerard's younger brother stood outside the bus, sipping from a vodka bottle, he wanted to be numb, he didn't want to have these feelings he__ had felt over the last day, it was the lack of love and then the new love…_

_Ray was sitting in the practise studio, reading the letter he had received from the doctor the same day the band had left for the tour over and over again. He had started to feel some pain in his back and in his stomach… but how could he tell his best friends that he had to let them down? _

_Bob sat in the sofa and watched his iPod, he stared at one of the bands shows, it looked so fun, and everything seemed so… easy… now he didn't know what to do… maybe he should just leave. And then there was the thing about Jenny, how could he get rid of her?_

_Frank was __sleeping in his bunk, he had a nightmare. Alicia was screaming out his name when they were having passionate sex in one of his best friend's bed. He woke up all sweaty and scared, what if Mikey knew? _

_And she, the toxic girl, sat crawled up in her bunk writing a text. _

_Some minutes later five phones buzzed, receiving a text. Five pairs of hands stretched out to pick up the phone to read… _

**There will be more explanation in the next chapter if this is confusing... xD ****i'm going to try to update as fast as possibl_e _but my best friend are comming to my place so... hopefully... an update ^^**

**Oh and if you are reading this story and likes it pleaseplease review... or else dont read it! ^^**

**xoxo WeAreAllABunchOfLiars  
**


	9. Secrets

**Hii! :D **

**sorry for taken forever to update, stuff happened but here we go again :)  
**

**Ray. **

My phone buzzed and I reached out to get it, unknown number…?

"_Everybody has secrets…__ which one is your darkest one?"_

"What the heck is this?" I said out loud before I fast disappeared into thoughts.

My darkest secret? Well this is the whole story… Some time ago I felt a limp in my testicle… I went to see the doctor… and just a week ago I got the result in a letter, a letter which I have read so many times it is almost broken.

Cancer… testicle cancer. That's what I suffer from… and I'm afraid of telling the guys, not because it is embarrassing, well it is but that's something I just have to live with. But I was afraid of the fact that I had to start chemo soon, and I would be gone for weeks, this would screw up the whole summer, the whole tour… and the fans would be so disappointed.

But then again, if I got to chemo soon, I would get better; I had started to feel pain in both my back and stomach and that's not nice. And 95 percent defeats the disease… but what if I'm the other five percent? I need to tell the guys!

**Gerard. **

I sighed and picked up my phone, I had a text on it from an unknown number and I read the text out loud:

"_Everybody has secrets… which one is your darkest one?" _I put the phone down and stared around me, as if someone was in the room, watching me. I knew none was around but I looked anyway.

My darkest secret? Well… before, when I was drinking I had so many secrets… all of them dark… drinking, drugs, gambling, self harm. You name it, I probably did it. Then the whole world found out, and there were no secrets left… but here we go again. Now it is the self harm again, nothing I'm proud over… but it is a way of surviving… but that's nothing that can help you forever… I don't know what to do, well I guess I could tell the guys and let them help me!

**Bob.**

"_Everybody has secrets… which is your darkest one?" _

I stared at my phone… could someone read my mind? Was someone fucking with me? Jenny I thought, but how could she know that I was planning on leaving the band? She couldn't know that… but maybe she was trying to fuck with my mind… and if that was so… she had succeeded.

Oh yeah my secret, I had the feeling that the band was falling apart… and I didn't want that to happen, I wanted to walk away, leave and never ever look back.

One day I need to tell the guys… I just don't know when!

**Mikey. **

I pour the alcohol down my throat without thinking of tomorrow, or anyone else, I was standing in the dark outside the tour bus and I was drinking.

My phone made a sound and I picked it up, I didn't know who the text had came from, but I read it anyway.

"_Everybody has secrets… which is your darkest one?" _I just stared at the bottle I held in my hand, it said everything. Well not everything, I had three dark ones, secrets of course, and I can't rate which one is the darkest…

First: I'm no longer in love with my wife, I want to leave her, replace her with my new love. I don't know why… it just isn't the same anymore… Just don't ask me why, because I don't know. And I have the divorce papers in my bag, waiting for her to sign… she don't know a thing…

Second: I'm starting to fall in love with… Jenny! She is cute, intelligent and everything feels right when I'm with her… oh yeah I know she is young but I don't care.

Last one: My last secret is that I drink to be numbed, so I will not feel the pain from not being in love and from being in love with someone you can not have…

Maybe this is one of the things I should tell the guys… and my wife, and Jenny…

**Frank. **

YAAAY! I woke up from a text, the nicest way to be waked up at… I thought bitterly to myself, okay I had been having a nightmare but it's still not okay.

"_Everybody has secrets… which is your darkest one?" _

"A stupid text from a stupid unknown number? That was not a good reason to wake me up!" I said bitterly and got back to the bunk to sleep again. But my brain was working now, thinking back to that evening….

It was maybe three years ago, long before I had started dating Jamia, yes I was single. Alicia had called me because she and Mikey had the biggest fight ever, he had left her at their apartment and she needed to talk to someone, and since we were good friends back then she asked me to come over. I did as I was told and got over. At first she had been yelling over Mikey, then she calmed down and kept on talking about revenge, I had no idea what Mikey had done to her, I still don't know, but she was upset. I gave her a hug and she stared to kiss me, I tried to get her off me at first, but I wanted her. I'm a man, I hadn't had sex in forever and well I think you can get what happened. Some days after I met Mikey and Alicia in the mall and they looked happier than ever… I haven't told anyone what happened… And that's the way it should stay, this is one of the things that will go down with me in the grave. But I'm terrified that anyone would find out.

**I know it is kinda short but the heat is getting to my brain and i can't think... be lucky i could make this one without dying xD **

**What dod you think? Is it good? ^^  
**


	10. Give Me A Shot To Remember

**Hey, sorry for the lack of updates... i've just started working and it is taking all of my time... but here we go again ^^**

**Jenny. **

Some weeks passed by, at first no one really cared about the strange tiny girl who hanged out with My Chem. Not until some interviewer asked, I don't really care who he was… but after his question we had to tell the whole story.

I was sitting in the other end of the bus with a book in my lap, I was listening lazily on the questions, what I really was doing was trying to plan how to kill them, it was soon time, before I got more attached to them then I already are…

"So here is a question from Matilda in Los Angeles: Who is that chick how has been hanging out with you guys for some time? I keep seeing her on pictures and NO ONE seems to know who the heck she is!"

"Well, Frank I think you should answer this one?" Bob smirked into the camera.

"Ehm… well yes. The girl is my cousin, Jenny Iero. Jen darling come here!" I heard Frank yelling over the bus.

"Ehm… What the heck?" All the sudden I had a camera in my face and someone grabbed my wrist and dragged me over to the studio then I was pushed down a chair between Mikey and Frank.

"Sooo… Jenny, you are one of the lucky ones who has been hanging out with My Chemical Romance, how did you get so lucky?"

"Well… ehm… well like Frankie said, I'm his cousin and I just turned seventeen and since I've been a fan of the band for ages he thought a summer with the band on tour would be the perfect gift. And it is!" I smiled shyly into the camera and hope I looked cute, a cute looking girl would… make things easier if I put it that way.

"Oh that's nice!" the man said to me and tried to come up with some other things to say.

"But I don't want to steal the spotlight from you guys; I'll be in my bunk!" I gave my "cousin" a kiss on the cheek and then I walked to the bunks.

I picked up my gun from its safe hiding place; I stared at it and then held it to my head.

"You know you have to do it sometime to them… Or else Mr. Anderson will be after you… and you all die, what do you rater have?" I whispered to myself and hid the gun again.

_**Days, shows and towns passed by, another week had soon gone and soon it was the hottest day of the summer…**_

**Bob.**

"Hot, oh so hot!" I moaned when I woke up. I wasn't able to breath because of the heat in the bus and I was happy over the fact that we had no show during the day. I got up and found the bus empty, just like our fridge, except for the cans of soda. I took one and figured I would get over to Green Days bus and get something for my stomach, I was starving.

I walked back hours later and I saw my biggest enemy standing outside our bus, she wore a bikini top and shorts.

"Give me a shot to remember…" I could hear her mumble as she turned around. At first I was going to ignore her, but then I saw the gun in her hand. She held it, pointing at me, I didn't know what to do. I just stood there and stared at her and the gun.

"So raise your hands in the air, or else this will the last thing you do." She smirked and walked towards me.

"Don't do it! I'm begging you!" I whispered but afraid of dying I raise my hands.

"Oh well look at this, he is afraid!" she laughed. "I'm going to do it, I mean I probably will burn in hell anyway."

Gerard walked around the corner, dressed in a black long-sleeved shirt which was soaking wet.

"Bob, Jenny? What the heck is going on?" he must have seen the fear in my eyes and he sounded concerned. Didn't he see the gun? What was wrong with the man?

I slowly turned around and looked at him, then I saw it he held a bright green water pistol in his hands.

"Oh nothing… I found a man without a water pistol so I thought it was fun to mock him a little…"

"HAHAHAHAHA" Gerard laughed at me. "So she made you stick your hands up in the air?"

"Yeah I don't want to get water on my finest t-shirt!" I laughed and tried to joke it away… hope he bought it.

"Well first of all princesses, that shirt aint pretty and second IT IS MINE!" Gerard yelled and started to splash his water on me. I glared madly at him before getting on the bus and sat down at the sofa. At least I still was alive; some days… you can find small things to be happy about…

Gerard walked in some minutes later and dragged his shirt of, at first I didn't look but then I saw them, the bright red and the pink scars on his left arm, all over it.

"Gerard… what happened to your arm?"

**I know it was short, but i'm tired and this is what i could do, i will try to make something out of this in the weekend... ^^ and yeah did you like it? :)**


	11. You Stupid Fucker!

**Okay, here is a long chapter! I hope you like it because things are starting to happen now... ^^' **

**Gerard. **

"What is that?" Bob asked and pointed at my arm, shit I thought to myself and tried to get myself together and say something.

"Uhm… scars." I said and looked at him.

"Old?"

"New."

"Why?"

"Because."

"Why?"

"Because I can."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to."

"Then maybe I should leave the band because I can and want to."

"WHAT?"

"Maybe I should leave…"

"Yeah, yeah I heard you. But why?" he just sat in the sofa and stared at me, he wouldn't answer, I knew that, I didn't wait for him to move or talk; instead I walked into the bathroom and got a razor.

"Well are you really gonna leave us?" my voice was harsh and I put the razor upon my wrist. "ARE YOU?"

"Gerard what are you? A five year old?"

I cut and looked at the blood running out of my veins, it looked… pretty….

"Gerard!" Bob yelled and took the razor out of my hand and then he hit me in my head, hard enough to get myself together. "You are a thirty-three year old father, a husband and you are blackmailing me with that kind of shit? Get real for crying out loud!"

"Give. Me. The. Razor. Back." I talked slowly and tried to take it out of my friend's hand. He just stood there and I got it. We stared at each other, me holding the razor upon my already scarred skin.

"What's all this noise about?" I could hear Frank talk but neither of Bob and let go of our eye contact. I could hear a gasp in the background when Frank saw the scene.

"Gerard. Bob. What the heck is going on?"

"Gerard is freaking hurting himself, and well I asked some about it and…" I cut him off.

"And then he started to talk some crazy about him leaving the band…" this time it was me who was cut off.

"He took out a razor and cut. Just like that…"

"Okay, I don't get a thing, I'm getting the guys… we have to sort this out! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!"

Me and Bob still hadn't broke our eye contact and just stared at each other when Frank came back with a worried Mikey and a tired Ray…

"Okay, we need to sort some things out… and I rather do that before the show!" Frank said and we finally skipped the eye thingy.

Mikey walked up to me and tried to fix my arm, but I pushed him away and we formed a circle, everyone just staring at each other, the bus had never been this silent before.

"Jenny…" Mikey whispered and picked up his phone, I don't know what he wrote but at least she didn't come into the bus and interrupted us.

"You start!" Frank said and pointed at me with one finger.

"But… but… I have nothing to say!" I tried to say but there were four pair of eyes just staring at me, at my arm where the blood was pouring out.

"Gerard! We gotta start somewhere!" Mikey yelled.

"Okay, okay… I was bored out of my mind… just like before, I needed something destructive to get my mind of the pain of not being on stage or not with my family, I had booze before and I was fucked up, now I got razorblades and I'm still fucked up. You are happy now?"

I could see my younger brother gasp and the tears where burning behind my eyes.

"Mikey I'm so sorry… I…" I started but he shook his head.

"Save it Gee…" he said.

"Okay Gerard, you stupid fucker… we will deal with this or more like we will deal with you later…" Frank said, trying to hold his voice strong, he is one of my best friends and I let him down. Again.

"Bob, what is this bullshit you talk about leaving the band?"

Now we all stared at him, well not Mikey, he sat down in the sofa and cried, I wanted to walk over to him, comfort him just like I did when we were kids, but I couldn't get my feet to obey me.

"I don't know… I feel like this maybe isn't anything for me anymore… I want to settle down, start a family, and I don't think it will work with me being on the road all the time." He mumbled.

"Oh but that's NOT impossible… just look at me! I make it work!" I said but I fast continued with. "Oh yeah, well if you look at it THAT way…" when Bob stared at my arm and rolled his eyes.

"Okay… well, are going to leave? Or is it just thoughts?" Ray asked.

"Uhm… I'm not sure… but right now I'm sticking with you guys."

"Maybe we should take some time off the touring…" Ray suggested. "I mean if Bob is having second thoughts and Gerard is not feeling okay, that might be a sing that we should take some more time off…"

"NO!" Mikey's head all the sudden popped up and we all looked at him. "If we get off the tour what is going to happen to Jenny? And I really don't want to get home… not right now…"

"Mikey, we can not take responsibility for her…" Frank sounded sad but his eyes were hard.

"No, I want to keep the tour up; we have to vote on this one…" I said.

"Raise your hands all of you who want to stay, now!" Frank said, holding my eyes closed when I rise my hand up in the air. I was afraid of the result.

"Well then it is settled…" we gotta get ready for the show now!" Bob said and I opened my eyes, finding only me and my brother in the room.

"Ar…are we staying?" I whispered, he nodded and I gave him a hug.

"But what are we gonna do about you? I mean are gonna keep this up?" I shook my head, I couldn't keep it up but what was I supposed to do?

**Mikey. **

No alcohol before the show, no alcohol before the show, NO ALCOHOL BEFORE THE SHOW! That's what went through my mind over and over again. I was standing backstage, trying to focus on the job when Jenny came up to me.

"Hey girlie!" I said and smiled.

"Hii… I was wondering… can I be in the audience today, I've been backstage for so many shows I soon blow my brains against the ceiling, seriously!" I smiled when she quoted our old song.

"Yeah, do that… I like your brain where it is now!" I said and gained a smile and a giggle from Jenny, she kissed me on my cheek and I called up a safety guard who would help her to a good place.

"I looveee you Mikey darling!" she yelled just before she was out of my sight, and I smiled and looked like a sheep, I know that because of Frank.

"Dude, what's wrong, you look like a sheep!"

"Nothings wrong…" I said and kept on smiling.

"My Chemical Romance you are on in ten minutes." Someone yelled and I picked up my bass and we lined up for the high fives. I saw my brother, he looked kinda okay, but he wore his bulletproof west and the scars looked pretty brutal… focus on your task Mikey!

The show went okay, not the worst one and truly not the best one, everyone was out off balance and what it seemed like no one concentrated enough on the show…

I spotted Jen in the audience, she stood at the right side in a calm area and she looked like she really enjoyed herself. We played The Ghost of You and everyone sang the words back to us, it was amazing, like always. A guy walked up to Jenny, I kept my eyes on her because well you know why. He grabbed her hand and they started to dance, just like in the video.

**Jenny. **

A handsome guy dressed in black came dancing up to me during The Ghost of You, he grabbed my hand and we goofed around during the song but when it was over he came closer to me and tried to grab my boob, I tried to push him away, but he was stronger than me.

"Hey darling, why so grumpy? I just want some love!" the guy whispered into my ear as he put his hand into my groin.

"Get. The. Hell. Off. Me!" I yelled and people around us stared for a second and then got on with looking at the concert. I could take him down, I mean in my business you learn some things about this, but I was scared anyone would see and ask…

**Gerard. **

"_Well it rains and it pours when you're out on your own, If I crash on the couch, can I sleep in my clothes, 'Cause I spent the night dancing, I'm drunk I suppose, If it looks like I'm laughing, I'm really just asking to leave this alone, You're in time for the show, You're the one that I need, I'm the one that you loathe, You can watch me corrode, Like a beast in repose, 'Cause I love all the poison, Away with the boys in the band…"_ I sang and I felt alive but when I started on "_Away with the boys in the band…" _I realized the bass was no longer playing in the back; I turned around to see if something was wrong. And it was. Mikey had stopped playing and held his arms down his sides; it looked like he didn't know what to do.

I stopped singing and the audience went crazy, I ignored it and walked towards Mikey.

"Jen…" he mumbled and all the sudden he was on his way to jump out into the crowd. I followed his eyes while Ray and Frank tried to hold him back on the stage. There it was, her familiar face, a guy was all over her and she didn't seem to get him off her.

I run towards my brother and helped the others holding him back.

**Jenny. **

The music stopped and I could hear Gerard screaming into the microphone that they should hold him back… how was he? Mikey?

Everyone's attention was at the stage so I easily got the guy off me with some simple punches, two minutes later he was lying on the ground trying to gain his breath, a safety guard came up to me.

"Are you okay?" I nodded.

"Yeah I learned karate in school…" I said then the tears came, I realized how close it was that it had gone really bad… "I…I… I want to see my cousin now… Frank Iero… in... in the band!" I sobbed and the guard helped me from the crowd.

He took me backstage when and I was there I collapsed into Franks arms.

"Y… you need to get out there again…" I sobbed after a while.

"No we stay here!" Everyone said in choir.

"Go out on the stage, I'll be all right, I got Billie Joe here to take care off me!" the star from Green Day held me into his arms when my five friends went on the stage again.

"_I'm so sorry for this… but Frank's cousin, a dear friend of all of us in the band got attacked…" _Gerard said into the microphone and tears started to run over my cheeks again.

**Let me know what ya think! :) **


	12. Do You Like LIKE Me?

**Okay ^^ here we go again :) thanks for all coments, keep it up my friends ^^**

**Jenny.**

After the show the very same night I was painful aware of that everyone stared at me when we sat together in the filthy tour bus, I didn't make eye contact with anyone, I tried to clean up a little so no one would ask the question everyone had on their lips.

"Jen… are you okay?" Frank took the courage to ask what everyone wanted to know.

Yes?

No?

I don't know?

What was I supposed to say, in theory I was okay I mean I had taken the guy down easily but he had… I don't know… tried to do things I didn't want anyone to do except for…

"Jenny darling?" I must have stared out into the air in front of me when I was thinking of what to answer and Frank stared at me, he looked worried.

"No… I guess I'm okay… but… it was a bit scary!" I sobbed and I saw Mikey rise and get out of the bus, he had the phone to his ear but it didn't look like he had getting a call or was making one, it looked more of an excuse to get the hell out if the tension among us.

Gerard, who sat next to me, dragged me into his arms.

"Hey Jen don't cry… you are okay!" He whispered into my hair. I tried to get him to let go of me but he just held me there in his safe arms. Not until I stopped my sobbing he let go of me.

Mikey came back, he got something from the back of the bus before he left again. The guys glared at each other as they knew something I didn't know.

"Well I need a smoke, anyone joining me?" Gerard asked with a bit more joy than before and both I and Frank decided joined him outside.

"You are stupid Jenny!" Frank sighed when Gerard lit up one for me. "And Gerard you shouldn't give her!"

"Oh stop trying to be a saint Frank!" I almost yelled. "You are doing it to… I had a rough day!"

"You don't know…" Frank started but after a glare from Gerard he shut his mouth and smoked his cigarette under silence.

I didn't talk a lot and when the others were ready I didn't want to go inside, instead I stayed outside, Gerard gave me a look telling me he didn't want me to stay where I was but instead of pretending I had seen it I looked the other way.

I slowly walked around the bus, I had my eyes down into the ground, and I didn't know what to do with anything, the band, my job or my feelings...All the sudden I bumped into someone.

"Ouch! Watch it!" a well known voice said.

"You can watch it!" I said teasing Mikey who stood in front of me.

"Your mama can watch it!" he said back to me.

"You mama watched it yesterday…" I said and we both broke into laugh.

"That tooootally makes no sense at all!" he managed to say during the laugh, we stood close to each other and I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"Have you been drinking?" it took me a second before realizing that I actually had asked the question.

"I will not deny that…" He whispered as he looked into my eyes. His eyes where so amazing they had a hazel colour.

"Mikey?" I whispered it felt like his eyes had put a spell on me. "Do you like me?" All the sudden it felt like I was in the second grade, when I still was in school and the cutest boy in the class asked if I liked him…

"Jenny… of course I like you… we all do, you are cute, smart, you make us laugh and you help saving our lives…" I stared at him.

"No Mikey… do you like LIKE me?" all the sudden I didn't feel the spell from his eyes anymore, I just felt frustrated by his… stupidity…

**Mikey. **

Of course I liked her THAT way, I had for a long time now and well I was tired of not having the one I really wanted. I know I should finish things off with Alicia first…

I leaned forward intoxicated by the alcohol and her appearance. I closed my eyes and just placed my lips gentle on hers.

You know how it is in those books and movies, it is fireworks around and stuff like that… it felt like that. It was amazing. When we broke apart I smiled at her, she returned my smile.

"I like you, no I like LIKE you!" I whispered and I kissed her again as I stroke my fingers through her purple hair, this time I actually saw a flash around us. I opened my eyes as we fast broke apart. All I could see was a man with a huge camera taking pictures at us.

"Smile into the camera Mikey!" he yelled and laughed like a mad man.

"HELL!" I screamed and dragged Jenny away from the man. "Get inside!" I whispered as I walked out to the man.

"Give me the pictures, please?" I begged but he just laughed at and walked away. I picked up the bottle I had put down on the ground when Jenny bumped into me and now I poured the rest of the booze down my throat, it was a lot and it burned my throat.

Then I walked into the bus, trying to act normal…

Although I didn't love my wife anymore I didn't want her to find out that I was going to divorce her this way, I mean opening a paper and see your husband kissing a seventeen year old girl isn't a nice way, it isn't nice to find out anyhow but this…

When I had got on the bus Gerard grabbed my arm and dragged me back to the bunks.

"You are drunk." He said with just one look at me.

"No shiiit sheerloock!" I said. Oh yeah that's me acting normal when I'm intoxicated.

"Shit!" I could hear the mumble from my brother. "Why Mikey?"

"Why razorblades?"

"To be numb…?"

"Exactly."

"Fuck!"

**Gerard. **

We sat together, silent; no one could find the words to say what we really wanted to say. I wanted to yell at my kid brother for doing my mistakes. And he probably wanted to kill me for my old and new ones.

"You know I'm jealous at you?" Mikey said out into the air.

"Why? You got the prefect life…" I started but I only caused tears in my brother's eyes.

"No… you have a wife that you love, an amazing baby daughter, you have a family… I have… divorce papers and a crush…" he sobbed.

"Alicia? She…she wants to divorce you?" I asked I couldn't believe I hadn't got an idea.

"I want to divorce her. I don't love her anymore but how do I tell her that?"

"You could have told me Mikey!" I whispered.

"No because you have a perfect life…"

"Mikey, I always stand behind you no matter what you know that!"

We kept on talking until he was sober enough to promise he wouldn't drink again, at least not this much but he would only keep his promise if I stopped slicing my wrists open… I don't know if we could hold our promises but at least we tried.

**Ohh so you liked it? Tell me ^^ **


	13. Everything Is Going To Be All Right!

**Thank you for all the reviews, keep it up people ^^  
**

**I'm so happy because me and my mother was over in Gothenburg during friday and saw P!nk, she had an amazing show i had a great time ^^ And today was my last day at work and that's nice :)  
**

**Frank.**

We left the town and did some more shows in other places, Jenny stayed backstage even if she thought it was boring and we didn't complain, we rather have her safe and angry back there than in a danger. There were no more talk about Bob leaving the band and I was glad about that. Mikey and Gerard watched each others backs like always but Mikey sneaked around, like he had a secret just like mine.

All the sudden we had five days off from the festival tour but we were too far away from home and instead we settled down at a hotel. I called shotgun to sleep in the same room as Jenny, Mikey and Gerard had one together and Bob and Ray took the last one. Today was the very first day we had off for ages and I was thinking horror movies.

"Soo… Jen… what do you wanna see?" she stared at the table with movies before she picked out The Exorcist. It was entertaining; we had both seen the movie lots of times, Mikey came in as we both laughed at the movie. He glared at both me and Jenny and then he started to laugh too.

After the movie Jenny looked at her phone and her smile faded away, I don't know why and I didn't want to ask her, she kept her secrets deep down.

"I have to make an unpleasant call… it is my fathers birthday and my parents always have a big party and it always gets nasty, booze and stuff. I need to make sure that my younger brother is safe at some other place." This was the first time we heard about the brother and I had the feeling that this wasn't the last thing she had kept away from us.

"Okay, Mikey let us go and tease your brother." I giggled, I love teasing Gerard we left her all alone in the room.

**Jenny. **

I stared at my old phone, I didn't wanna do this but Mr. Anderson has a way to find people how don't do as they are told. And that will be even more unpleasant. Oh why did I ever let Mikey kiss me? It complicated things… so much more! A voice in my head whispered the truth to me even though I already knew it.

"_Because you love him and he loves you and you want to have him as yours!"_

"Oh shut it!" I said to the voice and then I pushed the call button and the receptionist that hated me answered my call.

"Yeeees?"

"This is Jenny Smith." That's my real name. "And I'm calling to report to Mr. Anderson, I need to talk to him right away." I was stressed; I didn't know if any of the guys would walk into the room and discover my secret. It went silent for a second then I could hear my boss's voice.

"Finally, you see we are a bit impatient Jenny. Have you got your costumers into the right position yet?" We always talked like this calling the people we were going to kill for "the costumers" it is a little joke among us.

"No, not yet I need to make sure that it looks like someone else had done it and not me. And I haven't made it work yet. But I have a plan."

"Does that plan involving kissing one of the guys?" I held my breath for a second, two and three. He had the photo, was it he who had send out the paparazzi? Or did he get it somewhere else? "Yes I have the photo, don't mind that."

"That's part of the plan, fooling around with one of the married ones, make it in public and then when the wife gets mad, when they are going down, I blame the wife and the job is done." I had trouble to hold my voice strong enough when I was thinking of the assignment that had to be done.

It was silent in the phone for a while then I could hear a laugh.

"That's a good one, a fucking good one. Just remember to watch your feelings. Don't fall in love!" I could hear his smirk all the way from his place to mine.

"No, I won't sir." I said as I hung up. "I fucking wont!" I whispered to myself and started to cry.

Minutes later Frank came into the room, he had a smile on his face but it faded away when he saw my messed up face.

"How was your brother?" He whispered the question, as if he was afraid to ask it.

"What? Oh he was upset with me for just leaving and didn't want to talk to me. He yelled that he could tale care of himself now when I don't care anymore and then he hung up on me. And if he can take care he knows to keep away, I can't be responsible for him anymore…" we sat in silence for a moment then Frank spoke.

**Frank.**

"Hey, I know you are underage and stuff… but Gerard's wife and kid is here for a while and they will be out with Mikey, his wife and their parents for the whole evening. Bob is out with some friends and Ray is not feeling okay. So we have the evening all to our selves, and I don't know…" I tried to get the words out right.

"Yes Frankie?" She smirked at me.

"Do you wanna stay in and get really drunk?" I asked and she giggled as she nodded. "Then I'm off on the holy quest to find the holy booze! What do you want?" I asked.

"Can I have some Smirnoff?" I nodded as she continued with. "Then I have that, some cider and vodka!" She giggled as I called a taxi.

**Later on. After a lot of booze. **

I lit up a cigarette and blew the smoke into Jenny's face. The world was spinning but it was ages ago since I had drank properly, Gerard didn't like me drinking this much… but the life on tour has to be sex, drugs and rock'n'roll. Sometimes. And besides Gerard isn't here!

"Soo." She giggled and took the cigarette out of my hand and dragged the smoke into her lungs, I was to drunk to bother complain about her smoking. "Everybody hacsh secretsh… tell me?"

"You wanna know my darkescht secreth?" she nodded and drank the rest of my beer. "That was mine!" I laughed but she just put out her tong and rolled over to her stomach and stared at me, I had her attention now.

"Okay… schome years ago Mikey and his wife, then girlfriend had a fight and she called me over. And I fucked her. Like four times that night, but that was the only time. That's my dark secreth… you won't tell anyone?"

**Jenny. **

"And I fucked her. Like four times that night, but that was the only time. That's my dark secreth… you won't tell anyone?" Frank confessed to me, and I didn't know what to do.

"I won't tell. If you don't tell his wife that he kissed me. And that… Waiiit I'm not gonna say anymore!" Frank gasped when he heard mine and Mikey's secret and we both drank even more. All the sudden it was a lot of tension, not sexual, no an uncomfortable tension between the two of us.

"What are you thinking of?" I heard Frank whisper to me. All the sudden I felt the tears burn behind my eyes and just a second later they painted my cheeks with water. "How are ya doing?" he sounded concerned, yes almost sober right now.

"I…I…" I sobbed. "I don't want this anymore. I don't care how much money I will get, I…I… just can't hold a gun to your head and pull the trigger. I don't want to kill…"

Frank interrupted me when I cried and screamed what I was thinking of.

"Jenny, I think you are having a panic… thingy, and you have to breath as normal as possible. You are just drunk, you aren't gonna kill anyone, are you?"

But I wasn't panicking, I was pretty calm, I just had realized I couldn't kill them, not Bob, not Ray, not Frank, not Gerard and especially not Mikey. I also realized that my own life probably would end soon if didn't find a way to handle my job.

Frank lifted me up into the bed and ordered me to try to sleep the booze off but I couldn't fall asleep, he held me in is arms for an hour, then he finally realized I wouldn't calm down. He called Mikey; Frank understood that part that we had something going on and I loved him for that, Mikey came over just seconds after the call. He opened his mouth to yell at Frank when he entered the room but when Frank showed me to him he forgot everything about it. Frank and he spoke silent and then Frank grabbed his pillow and left.

"Jenny? Can you hear me?" I looked up at Mikey, at his perfect but worried face. "Everything is going to be all right, trust me!" he whispered just before he kissed me.

But it wasn't going to be all right, in no way.

**Ohh... what do you think about this chapter? ^^ let me know? :)**


	14. A Meeting

**And here we go again! Thanks for the reviws :) please make sure you don't foreget to write a little something when you have read this chapter! :)**

**Jenny.**

The next morning I woke up alone with the worst headache ever and I felt guilty. I tried to recall the evening in my head. I remembered the secret Frank had told me, I remembered telling Frank my own and I sure as hell remembered my crying and that I had told Frank I couldn't kill 'em… Oh I'm so fucking stupid. I smashed my already acing head into the wall. Somehow I knew a self destructive behaviour wasn't the answer that much I had learnt from my weeks with the band. But it sure as hell takes your mind of your own stupidity. I picked a pencil up and made sure it was sharp then I stabbed my arm with it but all the sudden Mikey walked into the room.

"Nooo! Stop it for crying out loud!" He screamed as he threw himself towards the bed and pulled the pencil out of my hand. "Do never anything like this to your self! Ever again! Do you understand?" I had never seen Mikey like this, he looked mad but at the same time he looked his face was in serious pain, pain I had caused... "I care for you Jen, no matter what demons you have or what have been going on in your past. I just want to be with you. Kiss you, making love to you, waking up next to you. That's all I want!"

"Then you have to promise me some things." I sounded harsh but some things had to be done, promises had to be made.

"Anything for you, you know that!" he whispered.

"Okay." I sighed. "First you need to stop drinking, for Gerard's sake, my sake and of course for your own sake, I don't want that to be the death of you." No drinking would ever be the death of him… I will I thought bitterly to myself. Mikey nodded but said nothing and I had to continue. "Then you need to break off things with your wife, you need to show me that I'm the only one. Choose one me or her then we either can kiss and having sex and stuff, or you can have your wife back, I will never bother you… It isn't so long time until I'm eighteen, I can have an own apartment and stuff. Make your choice as fast as possible!"

I saw him become stiff where he sat, it looked like he didn't know what to do nor say. We stared at each other for a minute or two before he draws a deep breathe and spoke.

"I have made my choice, you know that Jen. I love you and that is with all my little black heart!" he leaned forward to kiss me but I didn't want to kiss him not in this moment at least, I had mixed feelings on one hand I whished with all my heart that he should say that he loved his pathetic wife and that this was just a stupid mistake. Then I could kill him easily but on the other hand I felt amazing that this hot, sexy yes amazing man had chosen me over his wife.

"Then divorce her… I don't want to fool around with a married man anymore. You can not both have the cookie and eat it to…" There it was my statement. That was it… would he do it, the divorce or would he just come crawling back to her. Mikey gasped, I don't think he hadn't realized that I was going to make him go through with the divorce this quick.

"Okay…" he whispered to me. "I'm going to straight things out with her and then we will be together forever you and me, aren't we?" I nodded and that must have made him more confident. "Hey… do you want to go to the movies?"

It was like all the serious words just a minute ago was gone and I giggled as an answer.

**Mikey. **

We joined the guys in mine and Gerard's room after Jen had made her statements, I never thought she could be this tough but apparently I was wrong. I just hoped Alicia would come after her and kill her… as far as I know she still loves me. But who knows? We lazily glared at the TV until lunch when we ordered room service and Gerard thought it was time to plan the rest of our day.

"Lindsey and Bandit are staying at Lindsey's parents place but we had plans on them getting here for a while. Jenny would you like to meet my wife and little girl?" Gerard asked and she had a huge smile on her face.

"Gerard I love babies! And I would very much like to meet little Bandit! And the mysterious Lindsey!" she laughed all the trouble from last night and even the morning was gone…

"I didn't know I was mysterious…" a female voice said and I turned around to see a woman holding a little child in her arms. "Sorry for being early but this little fellow couldn't sleep… she just had to se her father!" the little girl giggled and stretched out towards her father who grabbed the girl and held her close to his body. I hardly ever saw Gerard this happy and it stung my heart, why couldn't I and Jen be the same way as Gerard, Lindsey and Bandit? Why did we have to sneak around like criminals?

**Jenny.**

Lindsey walked up to his husband and gave him a kiss before she turned around to me with a warm smile.

"Hi, you must be Jenny. I've heard a lot about you!" she smiled and put her hand out towards me.

"Hello, Lindsey… ehm… I'm Franks…" I started but Gerard laughed.

"No need to pretend right now darling, I can't keep a secret from this one. She knows mostly about you. I hope that's okay with you…?" he looked concerned for a moment but when I smiled the worries faded away from his face as he turned to face his daughter again.

"No… that's okay…" I slowly said but no one seemed to notice.

"So tell me why am I so mysterious?" Lindsey rested her arm over my shoulder and it seemed like some girl time was up, nothing wrong with that.

"No… it is just that I've heard so much about you. Gerard talks about you or Bandit ALL the time but I never met you… and I'm glad I finally did."

"Oh I hope he doesn't bore you! I hope we will be great friend's sweetheart!" she said and glared at her husband.

We sat and talked for a while, and then Bandit all the sudden was mad at her father, it was probably because he never wanted to let go of his perfect girl. Lindsey fed her with the bottle and then the little was all smiles again.

"Wanna hold her?" Lindsey asked as she handed over her daughter to me.

"She is so cute!" Frank said as Bandit smiled at me and Frank leaned over my shoulder.

"You want one of these one day?" Mikey asked and snuggled up on my other side.

"Yeah! Babies are so amazing. And so innocent! I wanna bee that way again…" I said and Mikey gentle kissed me on my cheek. I could feel the blood rush to my cheek and I felt everyone stare at me.

"Well you better go back to your mothers safe arms!" I said to Bandit and I could see Lindsey sigh.

"I sound so old when you say mother!" I laughed at her as I handed her baby back.

"Hey Jen… could I get a word with you?" I turned my face up towards Bob, I nodded and we left the room. I took a quick glance back into the room and I saw Mikey smile at me, the look he had in his eyes told me that it is me he loves. And only me. I was about to smile back when Bob grabbed my arm and dragged me into his and Rays room.

"So… are you still planning to kill us?" a harsh voice hit my face when I had closed the door and turned to face Bob. I didn't know what to answer. "Because there are four men, my four best friends, who think they saved your ass a couple of months ago but that's just a fraud, and I never would let you hurt them!"

"And WHAT DO YOU CARE?" I raised my voice. "You are the one planning on leaving this fucking band!"

"Well since I'm on your list of people you need to kill to get filthy rich I guess that's why I'm caring!" He had also raised his voice and I was scared that someone would hear us and I tried to talk as normal as possible, it was hard since I was mad as hell…

**Bob.**

I was angry but how could I make my friends understand that this girl who stood in front of me was a murderer that she was lethal? Her words had hurt me but I waited for her replay before I dared to say anything more.

"And you think this is easy for me? Don't you get it is either you who goes or me?" and that's when it hit me. That she had started to like us more than she thought she ever would.

"And you rather sacrifice us than yourself… because you are young and have all your life in front of you. And we…" the words stuck in my throat and I had to take a deep breath before I could speak again. "We are just five old fat men…" she wasn't inhuman… she was maybe a bit selfish… but who aren't in that age? Who the fuck wants to die at the age of seventeen?

She had nodded as an answer but I needed to know some last things…

"But I have seen the looks Mikey has given you… I know him. That's the way he used to look at Alicia, the look of love. And by the look at your face in this moment I would say that you have the same kind of feelings. You know he is married, don't you?"

"I…I know that… I'm not stupid. You know I know every little thing about you that is needed to be known."

This conversation had just made an unexpected turn…

we stood and stared at each other for a while before I decided this was the time to hear her story. If she wanted to tell me of course.

"Why?" I asked but she just stared at me like I was an idiot.

"Why what?" that's when I realized the why could have many meanings, why did you fall in love with Mikey? Why did you come here? Why did you become a bounty hunter? I had the third option in mind when I had asked her.

"Ehm… why did you become a bounty hunter?" she glared down at the floor and sat down at one of the beds.

"I never knew my parents, the left me away to a orphanage, my mother was fourteen when she got me…" and then she told me her story, I never even once interrupted her. The same minute she was done the door flung open and Ray came in…

**Okay so now we are talking, stuff will happen, but what? Will this story end in a divorce, a big catfight, a huge blood bath, a funeral, crushed hearts or totaly random a wedding? Or maybe everything? ;) What do YOU think? let me know my darlings! **


	15. I'm His Wife!

**So… just have to ask. ****Anyone seen photos or films from comiccon this year? I know that I'm a bit obsessed but it is about Gerard! WHAT HAS THE MAN DONE TO HIS HAIR? It is not blonde… it is some kind of blonde but it looked really dirty and… not okay. From my opinion at least… I liked the other blonde hair ^^ I need an opinion, I swear I will not update until someone gives me what I want!**

**Jenny. **

Ray walked in the same second as I finished my whole life story which I had told Bob for the last hour. I was so tired form telling that I had forgot everything about the movie we had talked about earlier.

"Hey Jenny… Mikey asked me to come and get you… are you two done?"

"Yeah… sure… I just needed some woman's thoughts about my relation with Kaitlin but we are pretty much stuck so he can have her…" Bob smiled and I entered Mikey's and Gerard's room as fast as possible.'

"Hello darling… if we are going to the movie we better get out now to make sure we get tickets and we find the fucking place!" I smiled at Mikey when he said that but my smile faded away when Gerard opened his fucking mouth!

"Oh great, the movies! Count me in!" he said with a smile. "Frank? You're on?" Frank nodded and went to ask the two others.

FUCK! I wanted to be alone with Mikey! I slowly glared at my well I guess I can call him my boyfriend now and I saw the disappointment shine in his eyes.

"Well if you have other, funnier plans I better take my baby and get out of here!" Lindsey pretended to be angry but I saw a smile in her eyes. She handed over the now sleeping Bandit to her uncle and said goodbye to her husband. When they were done being cute Gerard said goodbye to his daughter. I walked Lindsey to her car helping her to carry her stuff.

"Thank you darling!" she said before she opened the door to her car. "And Jen, I know living with the guys is good but if you anytime need a woman to talk to my door is always open!" God I loved this woman.

"Yeah, I will remember that!" I told her and she gave me a hug, before she let go of me she whispered into my ear.

"Just don't do anything stupid, make sure no one gets hurt!" I pretended as I didn't hear her but my eyes had given me away, I realized that when she gave me a sad smile as she jumped into her car and slammed the door shut. She gave me a wave and then I rushed back to the hotel room.

I jumped into the shower when I was back in my room, then I put on a red and black queen of darkness top together with a pair of black skinny jeans. I straightened my purple hair and put some makeup on my face just when Mikey entered the room. He just stood there and stared at me and of course I had to ask.

"How do I look?"

"Stunning!" he whispered and I took a step closer to him, he leaned over and gentle kissed me.

"Hello stranger!" I whispered as we broke apart, Mikey looked like I had encouraged him and he grabbed my thin waist, pulling me closer to his warm body. The kissing stared to go deeper but with all my strength I pulled it myself away.

"Not until you are a free man!" I said and Mikey looked guilty. "Besides we totally have to go down to the others."

**Gerard. **

Aww I love my family, not just Bandit and Lindsey, all of them, the guys yes even Jenny, they are life saviours. My wife had freaked when she saw my arms, at first she had been screaming at me that I was destroying everything, I had no idea what everything was… our marriage? The prefect dream? The dream of the perfect husband? After a while she tried to get me on anti depressive medicines again. Then she remembered me and pills aren't the best combo. Then she told me to go and look at my daughter's face where she slept in her bed, and then she had asked me if I wanted her to take after me, be the same as me. I told her that I knew how stupid I was and no I didn't want her to be like me when she grew up, not in this area at least. Then we cried and talked… well that's what happened last night.

Mikey and Jen came down ten minutes after me and the rest of the guys, she looked stunning in her outfit, we were all ready to get to the cars but Mikey made his way to the reception and we all sighed.

"I need the direction to the movie theatre and the name to the town's best sushi place!" he said with a smile.

"Okay… Mr. Way!" the man said and gave him the directions and name and then we got in two taxies that stood outside the hotel.

**At the cinema: **

"THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT I EVER WILL WATCH ECLIPSE!" Frank snapped his fingers and yelled over the crowd in the line when we decided what film we should see, and I don't lie when I say that was a real mission impossible.

"I don't care…" Ray told us and Bob said the same. "But it better be blood in it or else I will get pissed!" Ray laughed.

"But I wanna se that movie!" Jen whined and pouted with her lips.

"Make me!" Frank said, he to pouted. Totally unexpected Jen walked up to him, whispered something into his ear and smirked, and all the sudden eclipse was a pretty good choice…

"Well hello there handsome!" I said to the man who sold the tickets. He gave me a strange look… and my friends had trouble holding the laugh back when the man got nervous. "I want…" I turned around and counted us. "Six tickets to eclipse, four big popcorns, six sodas and that that, ehm… and those candy bars…" I pointed at what candy I wanted and then I threw my credit card upon the desk and waited so I could pay.

"Yes… all we have left is six tickets…" he flipped the computer screen around and pointed. "Four together and two up here… okay?" I turned around and saw my friends nod. I paid and we walked to find our seats. I, the still a bit angry Frank, Ray and Bob took the four seats together and Jenny and Mikey walked up to their seats a bit over ours.

**Mikey. **

The place was filled with teenage girls, some boyfriends and then me and the guys, it must have looked stupid, but I would do everything for this girl who sat next to me. I had the popcorns in my lap and we both ate and drank our sodas in silence. All the sudden it seemed like we had nothing to say. And for one minute it seemed foolish to leave my wife, then I glared at Jen and saw her beauty and all thoughts were blown away.

The movie started, I laughed at the sarcastic parts over that the dude, Jacob also known as the werewolf, never had a shirt on and sighed when all the girls drooled over the two main characters. A fight started and girls around us draw a deep breath and when Edward and a werewolf and some vampires Jenny crawled up close to me.

"I'm scared!" she whispered into my ear. I looked at her.

"Are you freaking serious?" I whispered back. "I've seen you laugh to The Exorcist and a lot of other scary movies and you are scared now?"

"No... You stupid moron! Of course I'm not fucking afraid… I just wanted you to hold me and maybe kiss me… maybe you shouldn't leave your wife…" she whispered back.

I pulled her closer to my body and looked her into her green eyes before kissing her, I heard a gasp but I didn't care what about.

"Is this better?" I whispered back and she nodded and I held her close to me during the end of the film. I knew the guys were looking, but I didn't care. I don't think I ever been this happy… and I never wanted it to end. But all good things come to an end don't they?

**At the hotel, third person. **

_A woman in her late twenties rushes into the hotel lobby and she is clutching a magazine in her right hand. Her face is really pale, like she was in some sort of shock and rushes up to the three men in the front desk. _

"_Where is he?" she screams to the confused men. _

"_Who are you looking for Mrs?" one of the men asks but she only gives him a mad glare before she is screaming again. _

"_My husband! Mr. Michael Way! I need to see him!" she screams, people around her is staring but she doesn't care, all she wants is to see her husband. _

"_Calm down Mrs. Way." _

"_I believe Mr. Way is out with his company…" is all one of the men who stood at the front desk when Mikey, the band and Jenny left about three hours go, can say before she is interrupting. _

"_Who is he out with?" the woman screams and he doesn't dare to do anything but to answer her, he doesn't want anymore trouble. _

"_The four other alternative men and a teenage girl." He tells her and she gets even paler, she falls down at the floor and cries, one of the employees helps the woman to another room and gives her a glass of water and stares at her until she calms down. _

"_Do you know where they were heading?" he nods and gives her the name of the sushi bar he had given to Mikey. _

_She thanks the man fast and are gone within a second, when she comes outside she doesn't waste another minute and jumps into a taxi. _

**Mikey. **

The door at the sushi place flung open just when we had got our food, I'm sitting next to Jenny and is holding her hand and I don't look up at the door even tough my instincts are telling me that maybe I should.

"YOU!" all heads pops up as someone screams at someone in the diner. "YOU FUCKING WHORE!" There is no doubt, my instincts had been right, my wife was here, I let go of Jenny's hand and she understands what is going on. She is in trouble.

"Alicia, calm down." I say to her. But all she does is shaking the magazine she has clutched in her hand.

"YOU TELL ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN WHEN I HAVE SEEN THIS!" my wife screams.

"Yeah that's pretty much what he is doing." Jen says with a cocky voice.

"Oh you bitch better shut up!" now she turns around to Jenny instead of me.

"Oh who are you to tell me?" she is still cocky and that's irritating Alicia even more I can read her body language and she is pissed...

"For crying out loud, I'm his wife!" she says and now every person in the diner is glaring at me, Jenny and Alicia, not really knowing what to do. At least she isn't screaming anymore.

"Are you done now?" I heard someone saying and when my wife stared at me I understood I was the one talking. "Because I want to talk to you, alone, in the hotel. Take a taxi there and tell the ones in the front desk that you want the key to me and Gerard's room and wait for me there."

"And… are you gonna stay here with your whore then?" She was upset and was about to cry.

"No, but I'm gonna take another taxi. For once just do as you are told!" I was so calm it was scary and Alicia just stared at me when I walked up to "my whore" also known as Jenny and gave her a tight hug.

"Everything is going to be okay!" I whispered and walked out from the sushi place and into the taxi.

**Well… if you don't tell me what you think about Gerard's hair this is the end… **

**Oh yeah, I'm off to camp tomorrow so… it maybe takes a while for an update to come (if you gives me what I want ;)) **


	16. I Wanted Them Dead!

**I'm back, sorry for the lack of updates... i've been away ^^ but here you go :)**

**Mikey.**

This is it, this is fucking it! I thought when I stepped out from the taxi and into the hotel. When I walked into my room I found my wife sitting on the bed with one of my t-shirts in her hand, she had buried her face into the fabric and I realized she in silence was crying.

"Hi…" I said carefully as I tried not to upset her even more.

"Hi…" she mumbled into the fabric.

"Look at me!" I begged and she lifted her red eyes and looked at me.

"Why Mikey? Why did you cheat on me? I would…"

"You would never do that to me? Yeah damn right you wouldn't. Remember that night three years ago?" if she was pale before she looked like she was dead now. Her eyes shined of guilt and I had said the right thing.

"You know about that? Did he tell you? For how long…?"

"No that's why I said so stupid of course I know!" I started and for a second I lost the words but I fast continued. "No he never told me… I figured… the place smelled of his cologne, the sheets everything, you gotta be stupid if you don't get it. And then I found the condoms in the trash… and since we don't use that stuff I guessed that you had cheated on me." I stared at Alicia; it was her turn to say something.

"Oh my…" she whispered her hand was still holding my t-shirt. "I didn't know…"

"I don't love you anymore Alicia." There it was. "I want a divorce." The tears were burning behind my eyes for the first time since I had seen her during the night.

"Why didn't you say something before?" she didn't respond to the fact that I wanted to divorce her.

"Because I thought there were no other for me that you were the only one I could love, but my feelings has changed over the last year, and all the sudden Jenny was there and I felt… alive and in love for the first time in a very long time." I said as the tears wet my cheeks.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Now she was crying to.

"Because I didn't have the guts to say something…" I mumbled and looked over at my wife. "I have all the papers… I want you to sign them so we both can go on with our lives!"

"Mikey, I spend my days working, I come home to an empty house and I sleep alone in my bed and the only thing that keeps me from going crazy is the thought of you doing the things you love and that I am married to the person I love." I turned around because I didn't want her to see my tears. Slowly I walked up to the bag were I had kept my divorce paper for months.

"Here you go, would you please sign? I don't love you in that way anymore!"

I hated myself for getting her through this. But on the other hand I had to follow my damn heart.

"No. I want a lawyer; I'll take everything that means anything to you… just like she took everything that ever meant something for me. I will not rest until you are crawling on the ground begging for forgiveness." Alicia had that special bitterness in her voice telling me this would get really nasty. "And that's it! I'll never forgive you! Have it your way, but I will never let you go easy!" and with these words she walked out of the room, still with my t-shirt clutched in her hand. She didn't look back and I slowly let my body sink down into the bed, after a second or two my eye caught something. A magazine. My hand reached out after it before I could stop myself from doing it. I watched the pages as I turned them around and there it was. The photo of me and Jenny kissing stared at me.

**Gerard. **

We ate fast under silence before we took a taxi back to the hotel. At the hotel a woman was running out from the building and bumping her shoulder into Jenny. I know that woman, my brother's wife…

"This isn't the last you will ever see of me! I'll be back and you'll be sorry!" She screams before I drag Jenny into the hotel together with the guys. Jenny is standing in a corner and looks tired, Ray is looking like he is about to get sick and Frank is staring at Jenny just like Bob. Five minutes later Mikey walks down the stairs.

"She refuses to divorce me…" is all Mikey say before he walks up to Jenny and scopes her into his arms.

**Bert.**

"Why isn't the job done?" I stare at the man I had hired to make it happen, it had been two months and The Used had a recorded and soon had a new album out. I wanted My Chemical Romance out of the way. "I wanted them dead!"

"Our girl has been trying to get the right moment and she hasn't found it yet. It is that simple." Mr Anderson said with a calm voice.

"That is not enough for me!" I said just as calm as the man in front of me, he stared at me and I slowly picked up my gun from my bag. "I want her to try harder. I want your word that Gerard, Mikey, Bob, Ray and Frank will be dead in three weeks from now or else both you and she is getting your heads blown off. Is this clear?" He nodded and I changed the direction of the gun and shot into the wall next to the man before I left, pleased with myself.

**Ray. **

"I want to end the tour." I said and everyone stared at me as I picked out the headphones out of my ear as the last tunes of our song cancer were played. "I have cancer."

Five eyes stared at me and no one dared to ask the question.

"I need to get into chemo soon…" I started but Gerard cut me off.

"You have cancer? But…?"

"I went to the doctor just before the tour with stomach and back pain; it is in my testicles… and it is getting worse. I thought I could go through the whole tour but not anymore. And with Mikey and everything we should break this off." I sighed. "But that's just my opinion." I said and everyone came up to me and each gave me a hug.

"You need to be okay Ray. We end the tour!" Gerard said and before I could thank him the tears fell over my cheeks and made me sobbing.

**Well.. i know it is kinda short... but i think a short one is better than nothing, isn't it? Well like it or not? :)**


	17. UPDATE!

**Thanks for all the reviws ^^ **

**Frank****.**

Gerard had been the one making the calls and cancelled the rest of the tour and I had told the guys that I could be the one telling out fans why we had done it. And now I regret it so damn much. I stared at the screen of the computer and didn't know what to write. I need to tell them about the cancer and that we all held our fingers crossed for Ray but should I tell them about Mikey and the divorce? Or was it to private? My fingers started to move over the keyboard without me even thinking…

_**www. my chemical romance. com: **_

_Hello all of our dear__, beautiful friends, I'm writing this because I have some really bad news to tell you all, maybe you have heard them already... Recently my close friend Ray Toro found out that he suffers from cancer and that he need to get into chemo as fast as possible to get trough this. Ray is having some serious stomach and back pain and is in a bad condition. And if this isn't enough bad news I need to tell you some other crappy news. The news is that we are cancelling every show and tour until Ray is better. Mikey, Gerard, Bob and I are going to stay at Ray's side just like he would if someone of us would go through the same thing. He needs us now more than ever and that's why we can't keep up the tour. _

_We are so sorry, you know that we hate cancelling but sometimes you can't have control over your destiny. Or your feelings and I'm sad to tell you that another of my close friends, Mikey Way is divorcing his wife. But that is a completely other story and well I will not say anything more. _

_I hope you are sending all your love to Ray as he is going through a rough time being ill. I believe that he will get better if all of us are praying for him to get better. _

_xoxo Frank _

I looked at the screen and hoped that no one in the band would mind what I had been writing and I hoped that the fans wouldn't go crazy killing… and I whished with all my heart that Ray would get better. I couldn't believe that he had kept this away from all of us… This was just as much a slap in the face as Gerard's self hurting and Bob's crazy idea to leave the band. I sighed, posted the update to the website before I turned the computer off and went to bed tomorrow is another day and we had plans on heading home. I closed my eyes and I fell into a deep sleep when my head hit the pillow.

**I know it is short but i have a perfect exause for that, i'm in the middle of the packing for going back to my other hometown... and i have a lot of shit that need to be found again... and i have my mind on someone ohh i mean something else right now ;) (a) but hopefully my inspiration is going to return soon ^^**


	18. Just Like A Bad Dream

**Thanks again for the reviws, i love you guys for still reading this!**

**Gerard. **

Everyone sat and stared out through the window as we travelled home in our tour bus, I didn't know what to say, out lives had been turned around so fast that no one had realized how fucked up it really was.

My kid brother held his arm around the girl he loved but really couldn't live with, how could he? She is seventeen, he is thirty, she is still in high school and he is married, about to divorce but still everyone around them would stare and judge. I didn't want that to happen to them, I love them both to much.

Fuck… Jenny has to finish high school! Now I realized the problem with taking her in, she was underage and I couldn't let her not finish the shit… I had to talk to both Mikey and her but not now, it is still some weeks until the schools starts, right now our main priority is to get Ray better, he had called the hospital in the morning and in two days he could start the treatment.

"Bob...?" he looked up at me and I made a sign that he should follow me into the studio in the back.

"Yeah? What is it?" he asked and sat down and stared at me I ran my fingers through my hair the way I only did when I am really nervous and scared.

"I… aw fuck it… I don't know what I should do… it feels like we are falling apart. We never hid anything from each other before… and now Ray has kept his cancer a secret for some time, Mikey never told me or us for that matter that he wasn't okay and unhappy… and the same thing with you and me…" he nodded and I guessed that he felt the same way about everything.

"I gotta ask…" Bob said but was silent for a moment and I thought he wouldn't ask… "Do you think Bert would try to get revenge on you maybe even us all for the things you did to him?"

"Bert?" I whispered and I could feel the blood leave my face. "Probably… but it was long time ago… I don't…" I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Why are you asking?"

"It was just a thought…" He mumbled and walked away from me like he had something else hid from me and all the sudden my brain went to autopilot, I walked straight into the bathroom and started to make deep cuts into my arms, like there was no tomorrow. Maybe there wasn't…

**Jenny.**

I sat in Mikey's arms but I wasn't calm, it felt like everyone was judging me… I mean who was I? For all that they knew a seventeen year old girl, a fan girl, who are destroying their best friends marriage… but it was destroyed before I came into the picture. And inside of me my dark secret were screaming. It was eating me up I couldn't function normal… had I ever functioned normal? Maybe everything should be just easier if I walked into that bathroom and blew my brain out of my head…

"Jenny… I need to get some sleep, I haven't slept in days and I need to function normal when I come home… Are you gonna be okay?" Mikey looked at with his big beautiful eyes and I nodded and gave him a quick kiss. He left and I was alone in the room with Frank and Bob, Frank was sitting with his computer and watched something but Bob looked at me. After ten minutes he walked up to me and took Mikey's place.

"Can you promise me something?" I stared away from him, what could I do?

"I guess I could…" I said with week voice.

"When… when you are killing us… if you are killing… well you get the picture… can you promise to not harm our families, you know like Bandit and our girlfriends or wives?" I could see the tears shining in his eyes.

"Bob I promise you I will not hurt them… And I want you to know that I will not be able to live with myself, without you guys… without Mikey… I'm going to kill myself after…" Great now I was crying… "I love him!" I whispered.

"Then don't do it, run away… change name, pretend to die in a car accident… Something?" I love Bob for being so… naïve and positive…

"Bob… you don't understand do you? There is no run away and there is no escape from this life, my life. They will find me and you guys sooner or later… And I will live in fear until that happen… until the moment I have a bullet in my brain and no longer feel any fear…" I cried and hoped Frank wouldn't notice… or anyone else. "I have a gun, I could use it to blow my brain into pieces right now… but I can't how could I do that to him? This is just like a bad dream but it never stops, not until I find the courage to stop it!" I couldn't just sit there any longer, I stood up and rushed away to the bathroom the same second as Gerard walked out from it with the expression of being high in his face but he noticed my tears and tried to stop me but I disappeared into the little room before he could stop me.

The door was locked and I sat on the floor with floods of tears running from my eyes. Fragments from old memories came up into the surface of my mind…

**Flashback. **

_I sat close to __Daniel, my mentor. I was only thirteen but I had a bottle of booze in my hand, we were celebrating something. Maybe a succeeded mission I don't know… _

"_Jenny? Darling look at me!" He said and I looked at the old man. "Somewhere in your carrier you are going to come close to the clients… to close… and it will hurt. I did that once but I learnt a little trick to escape the pain…" He was drunk but I listened carefully, I had learnt that the hard way… "You just take a knife, a razor something that can cut through your skin… and then you just." He went silent for a second and when he talked again his voice was low. "Cut. You cut and watch the blood…" _

The flashback was over and I stared around myself, it was the bathroom at the tour bus but all the sudden everything went blurry and when I could see again I was standing in the bathroom owned by my mentor…

**Another flashback. **

_I was fifteen and had just come home from work and I had been looking for Daniel, I had walked into the bathroom and now I could hear someone crying in silence. __On the floor a body of an old man was lying. The floor around him was painted red from the blood which was pouring out from the arms of the man_

_I looked into the mirror and saw myself, I saw the tears but I couldn't get myself to walk over to the man… I glared down at the floor, at the body at the blood. Then I walked out from the room and never looked back. I wasn't cruel, I wasn't inhuman. I was a child. _

I cried where I sat and then I realized what I should do, I lifted up the bottom of my skinny jeans, the arms was way too obvious. Mikey would notice but not if I did it down by my foot. I watched the blood and Daniel had been right… everything felt so much better now. I sat at the floor longer than I should and Gerard knocked at the door and woke me up from my trance. I cleaned up fast and then I walked out and blamed my mood on the bitch from hell also known as Alicia Way and on my period and went to bed to avoid people for the next coming hours.

**I think the end is comming closer... but i will try to make it a little bit longer, just for you :) **

**And i seriously think both Askie Sage and Chemical 30 should update! I need to know what is going to happen in your stoires! ^^  
**


	19. Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life

**Where did the summer go? :/ school started today for the new kids in school and on thursday for me *gasp* **

**Well anyway this chapter is for my dear friend You Put The Hate In My Heart because she is the cutest and i missed her ^^ and she was back and i hope she stays here *evil glare*  
**

**Jenny. **

I woke up from the nightmare, in the dream Mikey had begged for his life as I pushed the gun to his head. He had been screaming and I had been laughing, an ice-cold laughter. My sheets were wet from the sweat and I decided that no way in hell I would be able to go back to sleep now. Not after seeing those things. Instead of trying to go back to sleep I dragged my tired body out into the bus and found Gerard sitting in the sofa staring at his arms, it was pretty dark but I could see the scars both the old and the new ones. I turned around to leave the man alone again because I didn't have the strength inside of me to face one of the men I would turn down sooner or later.

"No, please don't leave…" I slowly turned around again and realized that Gerard looked at me.

"Okay… I…I can stay…" I said with a hesitating tone in my voice.

"How are you?" he asked as I sat down and drank some coffee from a cup he took from the table.

"My life was simple… I came home from school, I changed clothes and I went to work. My father was drunk when I left and drunker when I came home. And then I ate and went to bed. Nothing else." I hesitated one more time, I hated lying… "And now since I meet you I expired so… much more. I have felt love and joy. And it scares me."

"But there is something more isn't it? More than this…fear?" Gerard looked at me like he knew everything. Did he?

"Gerard!" I cried.

"Yes darling?"

"I had a dream tonight… a bad dream. I was send here to kill you. All the guys in my

Chem and I held my gun to Mikey's head and he begged for his life and I just stood there and laughed and I pulled the trigger…" I cried and Gerard scoped me into his arms and we sat there for a while until he started to whistle. First it sounded random and just like he was goofing around then I noticed it was a familiar tune. With tears in my eyes I looked up at Gerard. I could see a little smile in his face when he started to sing.

_**Some things in life are bad  
They can really make you mad  
Other things just make you swear and curse.  
When you're chewing on life's gristle  
Don't grumble, give a whistle  
And this'll help things turn out for the best...**_

_**And...always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the light side of life... **_

_**If life seems jolly rotten  
There's something you've forgotten  
And that's to laugh and smile and dance and sing.  
When you're feeling in the dumps  
Don't be silly chumps  
Just purse your lips and whistle - that's the thing.**_

_**And...always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the light side of life... **_

_**For life is quite absurd  
And death's the final word  
You must always face the curtain with a bow.  
Forget about your sin - give the audience a grin  
Enjoy it - it's your last chance anyhow.**_

_**So always look on the bright side of death  
Just before you draw your terminal breath **_

_**Life's a piece of shit  
When you look at it  
Life's a laugh and death's a joke, it's true.  
You'll see it's all a show  
Keep 'em laughing as you go  
Just remember that the last laugh is on you.**_

_**And always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the right side of life...  
(Come on guys, cheer up!)  
Always look on the bright side of life...  
Always look on the bright side of life...  
(Worse things happen at sea, you know.)  
Always look on the bright side of life...  
(I mean - what have you got to lose?)  
(You know, you come from nothing - you're going back to nothing.  
What have you lost? Nothing!)  
Always look on the right side of life...**_

"Hey… it can't be that bad… it was just a dream wasn't it?" Gerard said when he was done singing. "And always look on the bright side of life. Remember that Jenny, always remember that!" I was stunned by the singing and couldn't answer so I nodded. "But we better get back to sleep so we can face tomorrow with a smile…" He stood up and looked at me as he waited for me to also get up and go back to sleep.

I shock my head and mumbled. "No… you go, I'll better stay here and calm down a little. You need to get some sleep though so Bandit will have her father at his best!"

Gerard nodded and left me al alone in the dark.

"But if it isn't just a dream?" I whispered out into the dark hoping no one would listen to my words and then I crawled into foetal position in the sofa and waited for the morning to come.

**Mikey. **

I walked out from the bunking area to find Jenny sitting in the sofa with her arms around her legs, crawled up into a little ball and she looked so tiny, so young and so fragile. I hadn't thought over the fact that she wasn't more than seventeen years old and that I was almost dead. I saw a little bit of her face in the mirror on the other side of the room and I smiled as I walked up behind her.

"Hello there beautiful!" I smiled as she glared at me. I leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "What is it?" I could see that something was wrong, but what? She refused to talk to me and when I went to talk to Gerard all he did was moaning about the fact that he hadn't got Starbucks coffee in two days. I went back to the sofa and sulked until I could hear Gerard screaming.

"STARBUCKS! STOP THIS FREAKING BUS!" and the bus stopped and we all walked off. We got our coffee and I walked back to the bus still sulking a bit but life was better with some coffee.

**Frank. **

Mikey and Ray walked right back at the bus but the rest of us stayed outside to get a smoke, it was just an other hour until we were home and we all had to face some ghosts. Everyone was scared to death including me; I don't know why I just was.

The last hour I spend trying to get some structure of my stuff and since we live like fucking animals it wasn't easy. Just when the bus stopped and we were home I saw something sticking out of Jenny's bed, under the mattress something to familiar to be ignored. I reached out for the injection. Did se do drugs?

Then everything happened in slow-motion, I let my left hand reached out for the mattress to see if there was something else, at the same time someone called my name but I ignored the voice. I found something it was cold, quite heavy… I dragged my hand out from the bed and looked at the thing I had found. I couldn't believe my eyes. I was holding a gun in my hand.

**Well this is interesting.. what is Frankie gonna do? Well let me know ^^ **


	20. Welcome Home!

**Twenty chapters FTW! :D **

**Thanks for the reviews ^^ keep on reading people :)  
**

**Frank. **

Everything was a blur; I held an injection in my left hand and a gun in the other one what was happening? Was she a drug user? A killer? Or just suicidal?

"Frank? Get your skinny ass here and say hello to you wife!" Jenny yelled to me and I didn't know what to do, steps came closer and closer and there I was holding those things in my hands. I saw my messenger bag and threw the stuff down there just before my beautiful wife stepped into the bunk area and threw her around my neck.

"Hey beautiful!" I whispered into her hair and held her tiny body close to mine. "I love you Jamia!" I mumbled and kissed her.

"I love you too Frankie! I missed you so much!" she said when her lips left mine, we just looked at each other and giggled, life was great. Hand in hand we walked out into the bus which was crowded with girlfriends, wives, kids and Rays parents. The only one who had no one was Mikey, he and Jenny stood in a corner just like the awkward high school discos in our days, their hands were clutched together like they would die if they let go.

"Welcome home boys! And girl of course!" Lindsey smiled around herself and everyone who hadn't been on the tour laughed welcome home.

**Jenny. **

As the guys got their stuff together I wondered what was going to happen to me, I mean I can't go and live with Mikey, he probably had no where to go either. And I didn't want to live with Gerard either… he had his hands filled with shit already and he had a family that needed to be taken care of. And Ray was no option, just like Bob…

"Frank?" I said with a low voice. He looked at me as if he had forgotten everything about me.

"Yeah?" he said hesitating and glared at me as if I had done anything to upset him…had I?

"What is gonna happen to me?"

"SHIT! Ehm guys band meeting!" he yelled and everyone came to us with a confused look on their faces.

"Jenny kinda asked me what is going to happen with her… where she is gonna live, she needs to finish school… What is going to happen?"

"I had taken her to live with me if I had a home… But I need a place to stay until everything sorts out with Alicia…" Mikey said.

"Well Mikey you are coming to me and Lindsey… but right now we don't have any more beds and stuff…" Gerard said to his brother and then they gave each other a manly hug. But still I had no where to live. Just as we stood there and discussed everything Jamia walked into the conversation.

"Frank, we got space and it could be nice to have a girl around the house. And you already told the world she's your cousin so I think she should stay with us!" Jamia said and when Frank nodded yes I hugged the both of them.

"Then everything is alright!" Gerard said and the guys kept on fighting about the stuff, like who stole who's eyeliner. Jamia shock her head and let her arm rest over my shoulder as she walked me off the bus.

**Hours later, in the evening. **

"Well this is your room!" Jamia said as she opened the guest room and we stepped in with my two bags. I looked around myself and found the walls being painted in a beautiful red colour. It was quite big, with much space for clothes and a huge bed in the middle.

"It is not much…" Jamia started.

"Oh it is perfect! Thanks for helping me!" I said and she hugged me tightly.

"Well I'm gonna leave you alone now… I'll be downstairs if you need me!" She smiled and left me all alone.

I was hanging up all my stuff when someone was knocking on the door and I saw Frank stepped in with a messenger bag in his hand as I looked up to se who was coming.

"We kinda need to talk Jen…" he said as he closed the door and digger through his messenger bag. "I found these things under your mattress and I want to know what the hell is going on…" he showed me one of the injections and the gun, my life insurance as Mr Anderson used to call the little gun. "I haven't shown this to anyone else but I will give you five minutes to explain or else I will call the police… it is up to you."

"I…I… Frank I can explain…" I said and laid on my back on the bed and stared up into the roof for a second, I took a deep breath and I could hear Frank lightning up.

"Want one?" he asked and I thought what the heck I wouldn't live that long anyways a cigarette couldn't kill me right now… he gave me one and I dragged the smoke down my lungs before speaking.

"That is some stuff I had around if things get bad… it is the only thing I had from before I came to your bus and you saved me from everything. The injection so I can forget the bad stuff for a second or two…" I prayed that he hadn't read the etiquette because if he had done that I was already dead… it is no drug, it is a poison… "And if things are going to get really bad there is the gun and I'll just blow my head into pieces. That's what you learn when you grow up in a family where things are bad twenty-four seven Frank."

"But…" Frank looked at me like he didn't know what to say.

"Can I have that back? I will not use it to do anything stupid… I just want it if someone attacks me…"

"I don't know…" he said and glared at me.

"Come on Frank, I feel safe with you and nothing bad has happened to me during your watch, but that one time at the show scared me and I don't like walking around without the gun…" and there some tears. Why didn't I become an actor instead? Seriously, these guys believe everything I say!

"Okay… just don't tell Jamia or the guys… they will kill me and I like my life…!" he said with a wink and gave me the gun. "Well I'm off to do dirty stuff with my wife… DO NOT DISTURB! There is food in the fridge and TV downstairs and other fun stuff… just… DON'T DISTURB!" I giggled as Frank talked and I threw a pillow at him.

"Hmm… which was your room again… maybe I'll cheek in the bed I there…" I giggled and he glared at me and left really fast and I decided it was time to watch some TV.

I was tired and for the first time in a long time I felt safe, not like someone was watching my every move… this was probably not sure because Mr Anderson would never let this big of affair go wrong, I mean one million dollars to the company is a huge thing, you don't let one million dollars slip through your fingers like that…

My eyes are heavy I thought when I glared at the commercial during Simpsons and all the sudden I fell into a fluffy yellow sleep…

Someone held their fingers on my nose and this was the thing waking me up, I couldn't breath trough my nose. And when I tried to scream I felt the other hand over my mouth. My eyes flung open and I stared into a pair of deep green eyes. A man signed to me to be quiet, I nodded and he dragged me outside the house where he pushed me down to the ground.

"You better shut the hell up and listen to me girl, because I will only say this once…"

**Ohh... who is it? *Gasp* And what's gonna happen? Well i hope you liked it even though it is a cliffhanger xD **


	21. Romeo And Juliet

**Thanks for the reviews^^ **

**Just a warning... i think this chapter is kinda lame and not good... but i'm tired and can't make it work... i've written it over and over again and this is what came out... just a warning... xD  
**

"I'm not here to kill you and I'm not here to make you cry… I'm here to give you some information…" A guy said to me and he pushed me down to the ground still with his hand over my mouth. "I have a messenger from your boss… he want the job to be done in two weeks… if not your fairy tale will end and you will die. Together with the lover boys. And it will not be pretty!"

The man looked into my eyes, which was filled with tears. "Do you understand me? DO YOU?" I nodded and the man finally let me go, I crawled into a ball and watched the man disappear out in the night. Who was he? Was he Bert's man or Mr Andersons? And what would happen to me? I had never been so scared before in my seventeen year old life…

I dragged myself inside the house and collapsed into tears on the sofa when I once again heard a sound. Was the man back? I slowly turned around and looked into the room. A tired, worn out almost naked Frank showed himself in the door, he hadn't been kidding with the doing dirty stuff with his wife part… he looked just like he had spend a weekend in a hotel room with four prostituted woman, and yes I have seen that no need to ask.

"What are you doing here punk?" he spluttered and I guessed he had been drinking quite much.

"I'm living here you big rock star! Remember?"

"No I don't but I'm pretty drunk so… Well I'm just up for some juice and then I'm back to…" he laughed and looked satisfied. "I'm going back to bed!"

"Just be nice Frank! I'm going to bed." I told him and walked up the stairs to my room.

This could be interesting I thought to myself as I got undressed, I found one of Mikey's t-shirts I had stolen to sleep in and then I crawled into the bed, which was like heaven after two months in a bunk. I had once again almost travelled away to dream land when I was waken up by the sound of small rocks thrown at my window. I sighed and got up from the bed and opened the window and glared out.

**Mikey. **

I hadn't been able to sleep how much I tried, everything that had happened went trough my mind and it caused me so much pain. So I decided to get out on a little walk, and of course I ended up in front of Franks place. There was no sign of that anyone was waken but I really wanted to see Jen. I found some little stones and did the high school cliché; I threw them at the window I guessed was Jenny's.

"Mikey… just use the fucking front door! You are disturbing stuff!" Frank's head popped out from the window… I had screw things up…

"Dude… I'm trying to be romantic here!" I laughed at him and he glared back at me.

"Dude… I'm trying to have sex here! So just shut it! And Jenny's window is over there!" He pointed and I picked up some more rocks and threw them at the right window this time.

A what it seemed a really tired Jenny appeared in the window. She opened it and looked at me.

"Ay me!" she said out into the night and glared at me… I remembered the quote from the literature class I took in high school thousand years ago… and I decided to make a fool of myself:

"She speaks: O, speak again, bright angel! For thou art. As glorious to this night, being o'er my head. As is a winged messenger of heaven. Unto the white-upturned wondering eyes. Of mortals that fall back to gaze on him. When he bestrides the lazy-pacing clouds. And sails upon the bosom of the air." I said and giggled. And yes I had a teacher loving this play who forced us to learn it by heart and I had memorized the balcony scene if I could have a moment like this…

"O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father and refuse thy name; Or, if thou wilt not, be but sworn my love. And I'll no longer be a Capulet." Jen smiled from where she stood.

"Oh come on! Stop quoting Romeo and Juliet and just let me in!" I ordered her.

"Oh hiii Mikey, I didn't see you… wanna come in?" she giggled and I walked around the building and my love opened the front door and gave me a kiss.

She held my hand and we walked up to her room, this was pretty much the first time we had been alone like this. I kissed her, touched her body gentle, I wanted this so bad… but once again I got disappointed. When we ended up in the bed together she pushed me away.

"No… I… No! This is wrong Mikey!" she whispered and turned her face away from me when I tried to kiss her.

"Okay… Are you tired?" I asked her, trying to avoid showing my disappointment. I didn't do very good…

"Yeah…" she said and soon she had fallen asleep in my arms.

I was brutally waken up by a knocking on the door, I didn't know where I was until I realized Jenny lied in my arms looking as confused as I felt and Jamia stuck her head into the room.

"Okay… Jenny darling, I know I said that you could have boys in your room… but I don't want you to have married men in here…" she said and I opened my mouth to defend Jen. "Come on girlfriend, wait until they are divorced at least!" she said and winked at her, and Jenny just giggled and gave me a kiss before leaving me in the room.

**So i warned you... but please review? *puppy eyes* next one ill be better ^^  
**


	22. Nothing Ever Turns Out All Right

**Okay, i just want you to know that i'm not 100 percent clear of the side effects from chemo and everything about the cancer stuff... but i have written the stuff my brother, a medstudent, told me so if something is wrong or you don't get a thing... just blame my brother! (a) **

**And of course thank you for the reviews ^^ this is for Chemical 30 just because i think she is really cute and reviews! Love you girl! d(^.^)b**

**Ray.**

I walked through the hospital door with my hand clutched in my wife's hand, my hands were shaking from the nervous moment and I took a deep breath before I walked up to the reception.

"Yes?" A young woman asked me and once again took a deep breath.

"Hi, I'm Raymond Toro, here for…" she cut me of with a smile and said.

"Yes, Mr. Toro, just sit down for a minute and the nurse will be there!"

I did as I was told and I and my wife talked under silence. Three minutes became five, five minutes became ten… I just wanted to run away and never come back. I didn't care if I would die... it was like someone was stepping at my chest and…

"Mr. Toro?" A nurse said my name and I rose fast, to fast and almost passed out, for a second I just stood there.

"Yes, it is my husband, we are just a little nervous!" I smiled at Christa and followed the nurse.

The doc came after some minutes and they did some tests, well god knows what they actually did. Hours later the doctor walked in and told me that it seemed to be an aggressive type of cancer but nothing they couldn't do anything about, he gave me pain killers for the back and stomach pain and then he told me to come back in two days. I couldn't start the treatment before then, I don't know it was some shit about a model and some other stuff.

We came home to an empty house, but eventually the whole band and everyone belonging to them came over, just hanging out and shoving their support to me. It wasn't as usual, it was low-voiced and it was like we could see everything that was wrong with these people I love deeply…

Like Gerard, even if he had a shirt with long sleeves, I knew what was hid under there, even if Mikey had his wedding ring on his finger I knew that he didn't love her anymore, even if Bob had decided to stay in the band I knew that he once had the thought of leaving the band…

Well to be honest I was going crazy.

**Three days later. **

Day two of the chemo, I felt dizzy and sick, and I had to tell myself just three weeks of hell left. Just tree weeks…

Christa helped me into the bed but I just had sat down at the bed before I had to rush to the bathroom and empty my stomach.

Just three weeks…

**Mikey. **

Gerard sat next to me as we were waiting for Alicia to come; he was there to comfort me until my lawyer came.

"Mr Way?" A smiling man walked up to me.

"Yeah?" We both looked up at him.

"Okay, brothers? I'm looking for Mikey Way?"

"That's me!" I said and felt weak because maybe this would be a living hell but I wanted to be free.

"Mikey, I'm going to Starbucks I'm going to get high on caffeine and when you are done there I'm going to give you all you want, cigarettes, booze, coffee or just love. Just be strong!" Gerard told me and gave me a hug, something I really appreciated.

"Why do you want this? The divorce?"

"Because… I don't love her anymore, I found someone else. But she won't let go."

"Okay… and this new…"

"No need to involve her in this shit!" I said worried about Jenny.

Alicia stepped into the office and she looked mad.

"Man-whore."

"Nice to see you to."

"I said man-whore."

"This is so… a waste of time."

"Time you could spend with your whore?"

"Time I could spend with my dying friend."

"Ah so you are going to spend time with your whore then."

"Guys! Stop it!" Both our lawyers sounded harsh and angry with us, and I can't blame them… we acted like kids.

"Alicia. Just sign the papers and we will both get rid of this mess!" I begged.

"She will not sign until we can have everything sorted out." Her lawyer said, a woman in her late fifties, she looked just like a teacher, a scary teacher!

Two hours later they had decided I would get the house, but she would get more money. But she would get almost every piece of furniture… but I didn't care. I signed the papers and handed them over to Alicia.

"Please sign? This is all I can do, I can't just fall back in love with you just because you want me to, and I can't take back everything I have done that might have hurt you… as little as you can take back the night you spend with my best friend. So you better sign."

She took the pencil in her hand and I closed my eyes until I could hear the door slam shut. Then I opened the eyes and I could see the papers signed and her wedding ring lying next to the papers, I took my ring off and let it fall to the table and them I walked away, away from my old life...

I walked out from the office and picked up my phone and called Gerard.

"I'm a free man now!" I told him.

"Then I'll come to you and we can get you home!" Gerard told me.

**Jenny. **

Gerard called me and Frank drove me together with Jamia to Gerard's place and we waited for the two of them to come home, Bob and his girl came over too and soon the whole band, except for Ray, was there. I sat on the floor playing with my favourite kid, Bandit but when the door opened I rushed up and for the first time ever I kissed Mikey for real. Like it was fireworks, live music and people saying "awwww that's so cute" around us.

"Jenny I love you!" that were his first words when our lips left the touch and all I could do was to smile at him.

Lindsey gave me a hug and just for a second everything seemed like it would turn out all right. But it wouldn't…

As we celebrated the divorce, I know it sounds wrong but it really seemed as everyone in the room felt like me and Mikey was meant to be together, no care about the age and the fact that I really had been screwing with everyone's lives for some time now… well as we celebrated the phone rang. Gerard took it and when he came back to the living room he was pale as a ghost and he looked like he was about to cry.

"It is Ray… we have to go to the hospital!" was all he said and we all rushed to the cars. As I sat in the car I prayed that Ray was okay. I didn't want him to die in cancer; I didn't want him to die at all… Nothing ever turns out all right…

**Review people! Do. it. now! ^^ **


	23. No Chapter sad face

_**Hello my darlings ^^ I hope I don't disappoint you now… I'm writing this because my life isn't my life anymore. **__**It seems like it belongs to school and the fencing at this moment. I have two essays on 6 pages each for the week after the next. And they have to be done really good because my teachers are bitches. Then I have a religion test next week, and really much in the Swedish class… and more to come… *shot herself in the head* **_

_**And I have a lot of competitions coming up and I need to be good or else I will not have a spot at the world cup and it would suck real hard! **_

_**Well why are you complaining about your life? I know you are thinking that… **_

_**Well I'm a little bitch because it will probably take me forever to update on this amazing story (yeah today I have total confidence :'D). And I'm sorry for that. But I still love everyone that reviews *Puppy eyes***_


	24. Look Alive Sunshine

**OH MY GERARD I'M BACK! Just wanted to say that ^^ well hope you all had patience with me and this story :) because the ending is close, sorry but i can't write anymore soon... she either has to kill 'em or not :'D well read and review!**

**Frank.**

"Gee for crying out loud; tell us what's wrong with Ray!" I yelled as we rushed into the hospital where we met Ray's wife.

"I don't know. Christa just called and told us to come!" he answered with an angry tone.

"Hey…" Christa whispered when we met her. I pulled her close when I realized she was crying I hate when people are helpless and a hug can always help. "He… was throwing up and all the sudden there were blood, and we had to come here and the doctors looked concerned and I needed someone here to just be here." She cried now into Lindsey's shoulder.

"It is gonna be okay!" we all were surprised when we realized that Jenny was talking and tried to comfort a woman she barely said hello to.

"But…"

"Come on Christa, we need to have faith, if we don't believe that he is going to be okay he will not find the strength to be okay. It is like he will give up."

"Thanks Jen! And to all of you!"

"Well it looks like this will be a long night. I'll get some coffee!" Gerard said and walked off.

**Gerard. **

I can't stand to lose him! I had to walk away from the despair for a minute and in to the bathroom, I looked into the mirror and a man looking just like me stared back at me. But it wasn't really me. It was just a shell staring at me, I felt nothing like him, the man who married his dream woman, the man who biggest happiness in life is his wife and daughter… that's not who I feel like anymore.

I feel like a man addicted to razorblades, coffee and cigarettes. A man who can't let himself feel happiness without feeling bad for them who do not feel the same way. And I'm so fucking afraid to lose anyone close to me… just like I lost… no I couldn't barely think of her without crying. I stared at myself as the tears started to fall over my pale cheeks. My phone buzzed and I saw that Lindsey was calling.

"Hey babe!" I said trying to sound strong.

"You are crying in a bathroom… what is it Gerard?" sometimes I hate that she can see right trough me, just like my skin was made of glass and all of my thoughts was written on the wall, but right now I was relieved that I didn't have to lye about this to.

"I'm… just thinking of something that happened many years ago… and I'm scared that Ray will not make it and everything else going on right now." I said truthfully.

"What do you say about coming out from the bathroom, buying loads of coffee and then you come to us and cry your eyes out… or something else than crying in the bathroom?" I nodded and it took me quite a while to realize I was on the phone. "You were nodding weren't you?" I could hear my wife giggle as I mumbled a yes and I hung up.

I bought the coffee and I met my mother in the hallway, I stared at her before I hugged her tightly.

"Mum, what are you doing here? Not that I don't love to have you here…"

"Lindsey called me and told me the news about Ray… and I thought I could come and pick up Bandit, she doesn't belong in a hospital. And I'm going to tell your brother that even if he got rid of one of the nicest girls I ever met I love him!"

"Mum… she cheated on Mikey some years ago…"

"I hate that bitch! I hated her ever since I got my eyes on her!" I could hear the tone in her voice changing and it was so much of a relief… I didn't have to look after Mikey after our mother have yelled at him. Now she would kill Alicia if she ever saw her again. You can say much about my mother, but she always stick up for her sons!

"I know! It sucks… but he got Jen now. And thanks for taking care of Bandit!" She smiled as we walked with the hot coffee.

**Hours later.**

We still didn't know anything about Ray, me and Mikey's mother had gone back home with my little baby girl, I hated to leave her… everything with Mikey and Ray had thought me that I had to take care about every little moment I can with my daughter. But she hadn't left before first talking to Mikey and then to Jenny. I was afraid that mum would eat Jenny alive but they hugged afterwards so I think it went pretty damn good.

"Mrs Toro?" a young doctor walked up to us and Christa's head popped up.

"Yes it is me. I…i… is he okay?" she sobbed as the doctor took a deep breath.

"Yes… it looks like he is going to be alright, it was the chemo that made Mr. Toro threw up but we don't know what caused the blood in his stomach and we would like to keep him here over the night."

"Are you going to keep him on chemo…? Even if he get sic from it?" Christa looked at the doctor and he couldn't meet her eyes.

"Yes. That his chance to get rid of this cancer!"

"I want to see him." I envy her strength, she didn't cry, her voice didn't even flinch a little. The doctor nodded and called a nurse and the two of them slowly walked away from us.

None wanted to ask the question that was hanging in the air.

"Is he going to be all right? Like are we ever going to see the five of you ever again on the stage?" Jenny cried and no one could answer her question because no one did know the answer. Mikey tried to dry her tears but I could see him crying himself.

Half an hour went by, and then Christa came back and told us that we could come in and see Ray. We all walked in and just some minutes after we came in to the room Jenny rushed out. We all stared at the door that was slammed shut.

"I'll go and talk to her. Her brother was in the hospital a lot when they were younger and I guess this brings up bad memories…" Bob explained and again I was amazed over the fact that I knew so… little of her.

**Jenny. **

I stood outside of the hospital crying when I could feel someone touching my shoulder; I slowly turned around to face Bob, holding two cigarettes in his hands.

"I thought you needed one, since that this hospital stays Ray are having right now brought back some painfully memories from your childhood when your brother was in the hospital a lot." He smirked at me and thankfully I took one of the cigarettes from his hand. I dragged the smoke down my lungs and a thought passed through my brain; fuck I'm unhealthy living like this…

"Thank you for covering for me back there, I just couldn't stand it."

"You couldn't stand the fact that you couldn't kill him yourself?" Bob said without even thinking.

"FUCK YOU!" I screamed and turned away from him, I didn't want to show him how much his words had hurt me.

"Jenny… I'm sorry!"

"What are you sorry about Bob?"

"I…I…" Mikey stared at Bob who didn't find the answer.

"Come on tell me!"

"Well ask your precious girlfriend because you won't believe me. Not like you always believe the little princess!" Bob said and walked off.

"Okay, Bob I don't know what the heck your problem is… but leave my girl out of this!" Mikey yelled as he turned to me. "What was that about?" I shook my head and didn't answer.

"Okay… well you shouldn't smoke…it is bad for you!" He said as he took the cigarette from my fingers and dragged a deep smoke into his lungs. "Damn! That was good!" he moaned. "Why did I ever stop?" I laughed at him as I gave him a kiss and then I whispered into his ear.

"I have never seen you this sexy…" and I winked as I took the cigarette out of his hand and dragged the smoke down my lungs again.

**Gerard. **

"Okay Ray, take care! No more scaring the living shit out of us this week… promise? And we will be back tomorrow!"

"Yeah yeah mum… now go home and have nice hot sex with you wife… doesn't think of poor me lying here all alone… who probably never ever will have sex again…"

"God night drama queen!" I said and I could hear Ray giggle as I walked out of the room exhausted from everything that had been going on lately.

When we were home Lindsey crawled up into my arms and whispered into my ear: "Can you please tell me about what happened so many years ago before we met?" I could feel my body get stiff around my wife's body.

"Come on Lins… that was ages ago… can't we just leave the past in the past?"

"Not if you don't want to sleep on the sofa… why don't you trust me Gee? We are married doesn't that mean anything for you?" Angrily she broke free from my stiff grip and stared at me.

"Come on babe… I'm too tired…" She cut me off by yelling.

"Yeah damn right you are too tired, or something else is going on… always some damn excuses! You never tell the truth with this one!" I was glad Bandit was still at my mothers place since this would soon get really nasty…

"Okay so you want the truth here it is: I was a drunk looser, doing drugs and everything with that. But you already knew that shit… And I was tired of everything and I met Bert, from the Used and we kinda had a relation… you know fucking around and partying until everything got bad. But I met a girl at one of these parties… she was the only one there not high or drunk… she was there to look after a friend." I stopped and glared over at my wife. No one except for Bert, me and the guys knew this story… and it was scary as hell telling it. "And she was the only one coming trough to me and I was head over hells in love with her. So I broke things off with Bert, and he had fallen in love with me so he got mad, he lost his lover and not only that some one to get drunk and high with…" I felt hot tears running over my cheeks but I just kept on talking it was now or never to tell this story… "And I took her, Caroline to the movies and we saw something and that was the best night of my life that far but Bert waited for us there and shot her dead… and I couldn't do a thing." Lindsey looked at me in shock.

"I…I didn't know…" She mumbled.

"I know… but it still hurts like hell every time I think of her… it was after her death I started to hurt me… but then I met you and… and… I love you…"

"Did they… catch him?"

"Never… and he sworn that he wouldn't rest until I was dead… but it was ages ago and I don't think he would come after me… Lindsey…?"

"Yes? Gerard? What is it?"

"Do you still love me?"

"Always and ever Gerard Arthur Way!" she said and I kissed her like it was no tomorrow.

**Yaay i hope you liked this one.. ^^ i did and i'm really sorry about the depressing things... i was a bit mad writing and this is what it turned in to ^^**


	25. Pants On Fire!

**I'm mad... The voting in Sweden sucks! No some people in Sweden sucks! AHRGH! well there is an explanation on my mychemicalromance blogg... **

**Anyhow i hope you like this chapter. Don't forget to review! ^^  
**

**Jenny. **

I sat on the bed in my room at Frankie's house, I was afraid, it was a week ago we had ended the tour, a week ago since I was attacked by that strange man and I was afraid that something bad would happen soon. I held the gun in my hand and stared at it, it was heavy, it made me safe and at the same time it scared the living shit out of me.

All the sudden I heard a knock on the door and I saw Franks head when he opened the door.

"Can I come in?" I nodded and hid the gun fast as hell.

"I just wanted to thank you for what you said to Christa at the hospital today." He smiled at me but I must have looked like hell because his smile faded. "Jenny, darling, what is wrong?"

"I'm so fucking tired of everything, me and Mikey, Bob, this life…"

"Is there something wrong with you and Mikey? And are Bob at your back again?"

"No not really… but everything is going so fucking fast and Bob seems to think I'm a bitch…"

"Don't care about him, and you know you always can come to me if you want to talk!" I nodded and gave Frank a hug.

**Gerard. **

I woke up by myself with my wife in my arms, and I felt happy. It was an amazing feeling and I smiled at Lindsey when she opened her big beautiful eyes.

"You want breakfast?" I asked with a smile.

"Nah… I rather have you!" she whispered with her sexy voice…

"Well that can be arranged…"

"Rise and shine sunshine!" Mikey walked into our bedroom with my baby girl in his arms. He put her down at the bed and left us just to return thirty seconds later with coffee and a cigarette for me.

"Mikey, I love you!" I said as I jumped up, grabbed my coffee and walked over to the window, opened and dragged the poisoned smoke into my lungs.

"Lucky you that you are so damn sexy or else I would kill you for smoking that close to my daughter!" Lindsey said as she grabbed some clothes, our child and walked out of the room with a quick kiss on my lips.

"Want one?" I looked at my brother who thankfully took a cigarette from me.

"I'm scared to lose Ray… And it makes me fall into old bad habits…" Mikey said after a pause. I nodded because I knew exactly what he meant.

"I told Linds about Caroline yesterday… She reacted pretty well but I'm afraid that something bad will happen… you know it is ten years next week…" Mikey took a deep breath.

"Do… do you think that he will do something?" My brother asked.

"I don't know… but that wouldn't be impossible…"

_And a week passed by fast, the guys speeded much time at the hospital to support Ray__, who looked better and stronger each day, Jenny was there too and Mikey noticed that every day passed by Jenny became more silent and… he couldn't put his finger on it but something was wrong…_

**Gerard. **

I dragged a deep breath as we stood outside the hospital, waiting for Ray to come out.

"Uhh this sun thing is kinda stings!" I looked up and I saw Ray coming out, walking up to us. His fro was gone and he looked pale, but he smiled at little smile.

"Welcome to the real world man!" We all said in a choir and Ray hugged each of us.

"Well there is just two weeks of chemo left and I think I seriously will survive this to!"

We drove back to Ray's and Christa's little house but we decided to go to mine and Lindsey's house to get some coffee, a decision that soon would change our life in a bad way. As soon I walked into the front door I noticed that something was wrong. Really wrong, the smell was wrong everything…

_Liar, liar, pants on fire  
Liar, liar, stop your soul from catching  
Fire, fire, god and maker  
Liar, liar, you fucking liar_

_You're gonna burn in hell  
You're gonna burn in hell  
Hell, hell, hell  
You will burn in hell, they say  
You will burn in hell_

The familiar tune hit me like a punch in the face, it was played over and over again and there was a presence of something that scared the living shit out of me. Lindsey walked in the back holding Bandit. I walked up to her, kissed my wife gentle on her lips and I kissed little Bandit on her head. Then I leaned forward and whispered to her.

"Take Bandit, and Christa, Katelyn and Jenny and leave as fast as possible." She looked at me with fear in her eyes. "Just trust me! I love you!" I said and I closed the door in the girls face and I looked the door before they reacted.

**Bert. **

I stood in the bathroom and smirked at myself in the mirror, my voice was yelling trough the house and now was the time for my revenge. I heard the door open and then close hard. I smirked even more as I left the bathroom and started to climbe down the stairs…

**Yeah, the end is close... keep reviwing and reading! Love you guys *hugs* ^^**


	26. A Bullet Through The Side

**I'm not dead... I'm here again and i have an update with me :D sorry darling (Chemical 30) it took a little bit more than an hour... xD **

**Oh yeah, people read Chemical 30 stories they are awsome! ^^ *evli glare* **

**Gerard. **

I slowly turned around and glared over my friends. All the sudden I was staring down a gun, a gun held by Jenny Anderson.

"Jenny what the heck is happening?" the five of us screamed in a choir and Bobs eyes screamed out the fear he felt.

"So that's it? You are just giving up? FUCK YOU!" he screamed to her.

"Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to save your ass here!" she hissed as her eyes nailed at the steps. The music was playing louder than ever and it scared the living shit out of me.

"HAHA, aint that cute, a tiny girl with a gun trying to save her precious lovers?" the voice was familiar, bitter and made me shiver as I turned around to se the man I had learnt to hate, with all my heart.

"So we met again Bert!" I mumbled through my closed mouth.

"You know, it is ten years today. And I'm kinda here for revenge." He smirked as he slowly walked down the steps with a gun in his hand.

Jenny walked by me and I could see her pale face, so light it almost lit up the room.

"I shouldn't be here, really. But little missy here didn't do like she was told and I had to let her pay for her mistakes." I glared over at Jenny and Mikey; she stood in front of him, like she was trying to protect him… Jenny didn't even flinch once as he spoke and I felt confused.

**Bert.**

I saw the fear in their eyes, well not in Jenny's eyes; she stood there, not even flinch while I was slowly telling her secret. Maybe she didn't care the way I thought, maybe she was at my side… but that we will see eventually... Their fear made me stronger and I smirked more as I spoke.

"Haven't you even once thought about WHY se showed up outside your tour bur after little Jenny here was "drugged"?" He made air speech markers as he spoke. "Or why she always kept everything from you, like family stuff, friends. Everything?" The guys from my chemical romance stood like a bunch of silly Scottish sheep's as I spoke and I just kept going.

"Because, five months ago I stepped into an office and offered…"

"NOOOOO!" for the first time since I had started to climb down the stairs Jenny spoke, no yelled and her breath got heavy, her chest went up and down. Her hand was no longer steady, I could have shot her then but I wanted to tease my old friends some more.

"What is it; you don't want your little secret to come out or what?" I teased and hoped she would start to cry. Some say I'm mean, I say there is nothing wrong with that.

"Shut the hell up! I rather die right here, right now than you are telling my story to them! I want to tell them myself!"

"Well Jenny, the dying right here and right part could easily get fixed. You know you have done wrong…"

**Jenny.**

OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD. OH MY FUCKING GOD! I thought over and over again when I heard the voice, everything was going overboard. This was a sinking ship, and there were no way in hell we could get out of this in time… okay enough with these ship metaphors and on with the story:

"Who the fuck is…" Frank said but my boss cut him off.

"Who I am, well ask your little friend over there, Jenny."

"Jenny?" Mikey asked as a whisper.

"This man is my boss… Mr. Anderson." I said looking at the man I loved, I wanted to crawl up in his arms, and cry until there are no tears left to cry out.

"Boss?" Mikey kept it going, and I knew I couldn't hold my voice strong so I just nodded as the tears started to run over my cheeks.

"Bladhidadi… this is boring! I want to see blood, and death and everything… Not five crying men and a girl…" Bert yelled and aimed just above me and a shot blew off, everyone including me and Mr. Anderson jumped and got a bit scared. I have never been on this side of the gun before… I checked that everyone was okay and I caught a glimpse of Ray in the corner of my eye, he was pale and looked like he was going to be sick. I felt sorry for him but couldn't leave my place in the front, with my gun.

"What are you doing here?" Gerard spited out as he glared over the two intruders, Bert was now just some steps away from me and he laughed like a mad man.

"Oh Gerard, I want to see you dead, is it that hard to fucking understand?" he laughed. "And I would like to see your body fall down to the floor, I want to see your pain, I wanna hear you gasp for your very last breath. Gerard I want to see the life leave your body. That's all I ever wanted since the day you let me down."

"I'm sorry I hurt you. That was never my intention, Bert I promise."

"Sorry isn't enough, you know that!"

"I have a baby and I wife! Please, please don't do it!" now Gerard was crying.

"Oh no I will not do a thing; it is dear Jenny here who is going to do it!"

Everyone behind me gasped for their breath, and I tried to grab Mikey's hand to get some strength but he rejected me by taking his hand away from me, and I could feel the tears over my cheeks.

"She is going to do what?" Mikey whispered the question.

"Jenny, I still can't figure out why on earth you used your real name… well Jenny is going to put a bullet through your brain. Five men, five bullets. That's quite simple!"

In that moment I decided, I knew what to do. They couldn't force me to kill my five friends; they could kill me, but never make me do that. I held up the gun in the air and let it fall to the floor, it landed with a dull crash.

"And if I refuse to do it?" I told them with some new strength in my voice, I glanced over to Mikey and I relaxed for the first time as I leaned over to the man I loved and kissed him like if there was our very last kiss…

"I love you Michael James Way, now and for ever!" I said to him as I turned around and faced my boss.

"Well then you know what is going to happen, it is a shame, I just have to say that. But you made your mind." He lifted his gun and aimed at me, I grasped for Mikey's hand and he grabbed mine.

"I love you Jenny, but what the fuck is going on?" Mikey mumbled to me.

"Don't worry…"

A bang, and then a horrible pain at my left side, my body collapsing down at the floor, and a struggle to breath, that's what happened next. Everything happened in slow-motion, I could hear Mikey yell, I could see the smoke coming out from the pipe of Mr. Andersons gun as I fell. There were other bangs but the only thing I could concentrate on was my pain.

Somewhere in the background I could hear sirens, and then everything went black.

**Frank.**

Jenny fell down to the floor; she had got a bullet trough her side, a bullet from the gun of her "boss", the blood painted the floor red. All the sudden we all heard another bang. The guy holding a gun screamed and held his hands over his knee, I looked over at Mikey, he held Jenny's gun in his hand and he was shaking, all of him was.

And everything was a riot, and in the middle of everything I could hear sirens and some seconds later someone knocking on the door. I took the gun from Mikey's hand and threw it away.

"POLICE! WE ARE GOING IN!" thank god for the girls…

All the sudden there were policemen all over the place; they took us outside, arrested the intruders and called medical help for Jenny. Mikey stood in shock over the fact that his love had been shot.

"We need to take her to the hospital, who are going in the ambulance?"

"Me!" Mikey whispered and they went away.

A policeman walked up to us, I held Jamia close to me, I never wanted to let go of her, and I looked around and noticed that everyone else did the same.

"Well, we need to hear you at the station but first you need to got to the hospital and make sure that you are okay… and I guess you want to see your little friend."

**Oh yeah, this is not the last one, but it is close now :'D review people or else you'll never get the last chapter xD**


	27. The Long Wait

**One chapter after this and then it is over :o review! ^^**

**Mikey. **

"Oh dear, are you okay Mikey?" My brother rushed trough the hospital into the waiting room where I sat waiting.

"Do I look fucking okay?" I screamed and some nurses glared and I could hear someone explain to them that my girlfriend had been shot, like I cared about what they thought about me. I just wanted to hold Jenny in my arms again, see her smile and kiss her.

"No you are right… have they said anything yet?" Gerard asked as the others crowded up around me.

"She is still in operation and… no one knows if she will make it…" I cried into Gerard's shoulder.

A nurse came in and stared at us.

"Well the police send me here, Raymond Toro, Gerard Way, Michael Way, Frank Iero and Robert Bryar… we need to make sure that you are okay. Police and doctors orders."

"No. I will not leave this room until Jenny comes back. And when she does I will not leave her side until she is okay!" I said harsh.

"And we will not leave his side!" Frank said and they all nodded.

"But… Raymond has cancer… he need…" she said.

"That's right I have cancer, and I need to sleep... if that's okay Mikey?" He asked me with a week voice and I realized how pale he was and how ill he looked like.

"Go Ray, there is no need in loosing you to…" I whispered.

"You can go!" Gerard sent the nurse away together with Ray and I could hear the girls whispering and protesting in the back.

"Gerard!" Lindsey had an angry tone in her voice and Bandit started to cry. "Take a look at your daughter and say that it is worth not getting that check up!" Yaay just what I needed an argument… fuck!

"No it is not worth it but I'm staying here with my brother. Like it or not!" Lindsey sighed but I felt really lucky having friends like this.

Hours and hours passed by, a young doctor came into the room and glared over us.

"I have some news on Jenny Iero…" I jumped up and tried to hold my tears back.

"She is my girlfriend!" I sobbed and the man walked up to me.

"Okay." He mumbled and looked into the papers in his hands. "She has lost a lot of blood, and she has a punctured lung on her left side of her body. She is in a coma, she is weak but stabile and if she can get through the next night and day she probably will be fine. But we can't promise anything…" he said and a nurse walked us to Jenny's room.

"Oh my god! Jenny!" I whispered when I saw her beaten up body and the tubes down her throat, it scared the living shit out of me but I walked up to her body ignoring the urge to run the fastest I can and never come back. Gerard held his hand on my shoulder as I took her hand.

Ray joined us after a while and we all sat in silence.

**Bob. **

"I know her story. And I would like to tell it… and I think she would have wanted you all to hear it to. Mikey in particular." I saw the tears falling over Mikey's cheeks, Gerard sobbing, Ray and Frank trying to hold back the tears. We all looked at Mikey as he slowly nodded. And I took a deep breath.

**Well one left like i said.. *sad face* soo have you enjoyed my story? :) **


	28. The True Story Of Jenny Smith

**So this is the end... I hope you enjoy the very last chapter! ^^**

_Fourteen year old Alison Smith was a party girl; she was out all night, drinking, smoking stuff, fucking around. She was a mess and she ended up with a baby girl. She never knew the father and had no interest in keeping the kid. But she couldn't get an abortion without her parents and she wasn't home that much to get the__ir permission. She was fourteen when she got her baby, a baby she named Jenny, Jenny Smith. She walked out from the hospital and straight to an orphan home. She left the baby at the front door, with a blanket and a note telling the facts about the baby to the people running the place. Not that she actually did care. _

_Little Jenny lived her first three years at the home, then came the first foster parents, a couple who thought they wanted a kid… just not someone that needed food, bathing and actual love… so she was send back, just three months later. This was Jenny's live until she turned six, in and out from the homes. One day a single man came over and said he wanted a six year old girl. Blonde and cute, the nurses finally saw an opportunity to get rid of the girl. The man was called Dale Anderson and he took care of the girl. As far as the state knew at least. _

_Jenny didn't live with Dale__, and she was lucky, he was a heavy drinker who hit her the two weeks she lived at his place so he would get money for her… Oh no she lived with a couple, pretending to be their daughter. She saw some pretty nasty stuff while living there, she saw her "mother" kill a man when she reached the age of eight. Then she had a meting with Dale and he told her she was a part of the company now. She would get money in an account and then he told her she would live with a mentor. She lived with on and off with this man or mentor and his family until he killed himself when she was thirteen. _

_Two days after the suicide she had another meeting with Dale, which we later will know as Mr. Anderson, and he gave her the keys to her very fist apartment and a map over the company's school. Jenny got some easy jobs until she was sixteen. The orphan home called her up and told her they knew who her mother was and that she could meet her, if she wanted. _

_Jenny made herself ready for the meeting; she dressed up and got on the bus and then she met her mother. Five minutes later Jenny had killed for the first time and she liked it__. She loved the revenge for the shitty life she lived, the life her mother had given her, there was nothing stabile, it wasn't safe, and Jenny didn't really care if she lived or died... For a year she killed for the company, mostly unimportant people but one day Jenny was called into the office, she was hangover as hell but she needed the money. _

_That was the first time she met Bert McCracken who wanted her to kill five men, they was a rival band My Chemical Romance and he wanted to kill them for revenge. She had heard of the band and she wanted the money, one million dollars… She took the job and met Gerard, Mikey, Ray, Frank and Bob. _

_She could easily have killed them in the beginning of their friendship, well before she became friends with the men… but they became friends in both good and bad times… but she didn't kill them and she honestly fell in love with one of th__e most amazing men she ever met. His name is Michael James Way and he loved her back with all of his heart. _

_She ignored the job until the very last minute and one day she met her boss and Bert… and she refused to do what she was send there to do. And she got a bullet through her left side…_

**Mikey. **

I saw Bob wipe a tear away from his cheek as he told the last part of my lovely Jenny Smiths history. I didn't care that she was a killer or that she had lied to me and to all of us. I only wanted her to live. I held her hand in mine as her breathing got heavier. And I slowly leaned over and kissed the love of my life on her lips as she draw her very last breathe on earth. The apparatus screamed that the life had left her body and nurses pushed me away, trying to save her. Nothing helped and a doctor declared her death to 4.13 PM the eleventh of august 2010.

I stared at her tiny body until the tears blurred my vision, I could feel the guys patting my shoulder.

"I loved her; NO I fucking love her with all of my heart!" I whispered at first then I screamed out my pain out into the room.

"We know Mikey." Gerard whispered to me as he helped me out from the body.

I collapsed outside the room, it was hard for me to even breathe, and it felt like life had left my body to. Gerard tried to talk to me, but I didn't respond, over the last months I had lost many people that had been important in my life… but nothing could compare with the pain I felt after her death.

"She loved you to, I know that's not much of a help but she really did!" Bob told me as I cried so hard there were no tears left.

**Two weeks later.**

Gerard, Frank, Bob, Ray, Lindsey, Bandit, Jamia, Christa and Kaitlin, and me. Ten people, ten fucking people had turned up to the funeral, okay it hadn't been a funeral. Nine people had come to support me through the pain when I let go of Jenny's ashes in the wind over the sea.

"And I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,  
I wanna hear you sing the praise,  
I said, ashes to ashes, we all fall down,  
We got innocence for days!" I whispered when I saw the wind blew her ashes out over the sea, shoving the world to her. I stared out over the black water and I let go of a sob, Gerard held my hand when I turned around, the last six months had been like a dream, and a nightmare in the end. But after this test I knew I always had nine people holding my back. When we walked away the wind started to blow harder than I ever felt before and in the wind I swear I heard the voice of Jenny.

"I love you Michael James Way."

**Well yes the end. Like it or not? ^^**

**I think this was a good story, i don't know if you agree? Anyhow i need some help with my very next story, write in the review what storyline you think i should use:**

**1. A World Without My Chemical Romance; A simple Ferard, man met man, man falls in love, man screw over the one falling in love... **

**2. A sequal(spelling?) to Can't Find My Way Home; The chararcters from my old story is now older and they meet again.**

**3. One without a name; A young and awkward Mikey falls in love with the girl next door and comes to his brother to get some ideas...**

**Your choice ^^  
**


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